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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: What the Coma patient thinksdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Aaron Felix
    ASL Info:    17/m/USA
    Elite Ratio:    4.18 - 141/148/71
    Words: 75
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 174
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 437



    Description:
       Like a wet dog-shake to dry.


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    dotsWhat the Coma patient thinksdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Lights are pulsing in the tower but the bells never ring.
    People sit in chairs
    that never sat on anything.

    If there was a voice that spoke
    for me, then I would surely buy it.
    Your heart forgives,
    but what I wish to write,
    what I wish to give,
    is my own quiet.

    Resting is so hard it is so very hard

    to go to sleep
    without a heartbeat.




    Submitted on 2007-11-29 05:12:45     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      I liked this poem,

    You described someone unable to speak out, like a coma patient still conscious but not enabled to speak out, he wants to, will even pay someone to be enabled to.

    You described something you want to say, like a secret maybe, something you want to talk about but cannot and not by choice. You even say that you want to write but it will be your quiet.

    I thought this was very well written and enjoyed it very much.
    | Posted on 2007-11-30 00:00:00 | by Polydectes | [ Reply to This ]
      nice write, i like this poem,very much.

    Lights are pulsing in the tower but the bells never ring

    i can imagine the patient lying there eyes open ,trying to speak but nothing comes out.the description you have used , was great.

    Resting is so hard it is so very hard

    to go to sleep
    without a heartbeat

    very touching, very sad,but the words are great.
    (is this a re-write,i,m sure i read something like this before)
    i enjoyed reading.
    take care
    | Posted on 2007-11-29 00:00:00 | by eyeless in gaza | [ Reply to This ]


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