Description: All of this poem was written on the spot while I watched the sun rise from my home. Besides spell check, I have not yet made any significant changes to this piece what so ever. Though I think i want to refine it further, i'm putting it in it's near origional state to see what people think so far of it.
The Fire of Dawn -------------------------------------------
In the early hours of morning
Beyond the forested hills
Still darkened by cover of night
Golden streaks of vibrant orange
Streak beautifully across the sky
Above the grey silhouettes
Of the far distant mountains
The magnificent fire burning away night
Its flames tipped with glowing pink hues
Consumes the darkness enveloping me.
Anticipating the glorious finale approaching
The fire’s source has yet to rise from hiding
As if waiting for the sky to become ripe
Before bursting from the rocky peaks
The fire’s intensity subsides
Emphasizing the brilliant entrance
That comes like a rising crescendo
From a great orchestra of silent beauty
It reaches the full height of magnificence
The humbling presence of the great sun
Fills my soul with awe and wonder
Like a servant my heart bows to it
With supreme power it brings day
Vanquishing the retreating night
And asserting its dominancy
Of all that behold the heat and light
Boldly it takes seat in the throne of blue
Decreeing “now is my reign as king”
Wow. This piece made magnificent pictures come to my mind. I loved how the rythm is so slow in my head, how I just breathe and relax, and feel the peace in your poem. It was soulful, to me, and relaxing. You write with big words, but slowly, and naturaly, so that the flow is not disturbed by the translation in my head.
Have not read anything quite like this, and must admit to say I really like it. I never write things with this calmness, with this.. How to say it.. This aura of quiet soothing. You really describe the event perfectly with this! As someone said further down, I could picture everything as clearly as if I was there myself with you, seeing the same as you saw. What more amazing sight can one find, than of a brilliant sunrise, or sunset. Amazing!
This is a brilliant and forthright piece. It is free flowing and easily seen that you are a true enjoyer of nature. It reminded me of the night of The Incarnation. The true light of the world appeared and darkness scattered by His Coming. It also tells me of those dying and they are totally enraptured by The LightGiver .
Good write! Keep it up.
Your choice of words and the imagery you used really enabled me to actually see the sunrise in my mind - I can vividly see the orange glow, the forest and the mountains - very well done. I don't really think it needs much refining, as you say, but i would love to read it if you think you can make it even better.
Submission Name: The Fire of Dawn
