Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
    • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
    • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: TOGETHER FOREVERdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: obaid
    ASL Info:    21/M/Gauntlet
    Elite Ratio:    4.52 - 148/93/34
    Words: 181
    Class/Type: Poetry/Venting
    Total Views: 840
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1265



    Description:
       Just wanted to get this off my chest and onto paper. It is sth that i am having to go through and i am glad that i have somebody special with me during such trying times!

    Dedicated to: my delilah! :D


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTOGETHER FOREVERdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Color i saw, in this black and white life-
    
When i saw you - when i first met you.
    
It just didn't occur to me that there could be consequences.
    
But i wanted you and craved for you.
    

    
Never knew that you had the same feelings-
    
Never knew that i could be somebody's.
    
You showed promise of love-
    
Love surplus than the water in the seas!
    

    
But with everything good there comes a price-
    
There comes fun, frolic, mirth but also grief, sorrow and sadness.
    
I can almost feel an invisible force
    
Pulling me away from you into absolute darkness!
    

    
DARKNESS containing "no love", "no emotions", "no feelings"-
    
Such DARKNESS before, i have never seen.
    
DARKNESS where i try to establish, "love", "emotions", "feelings"-
    
DARKNESS- i wish i never be in!
    

    
Life seems like a paradox and now a tough decision has to be made.
    
But just to 'decide' hurts you and if u hurt i hurt as well.
    
So lets do this together: hand in hand
    
Lets make our love a permanent spell.




    Submitted on 2007-11-29 21:52:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Reading this multiple times, I still get the same feeling: a dance.

    You begin by coyly stepping with one another, graceful yet careful. Then, bodies together, you dance a romantic salsa of passion and intrigue.

    Though, the melancholy waltz has to come, and you are slowly realizing there is consequences.

    And alas, the dark interpretive comes along and you're left to fall into your fears.

    But she is there, to grasp your hand and bring you upright. Again, bodies close with confidence, you dance to the rhythm of life...steady beats of heart guiding you all the way.

    Love it!
    | Posted on 2007-11-30 00:00:00 | by SanctityExposed | [ Reply to This ]
      Dude, what a mean write, you struck me on a level there. Straight up, thats brilliant.
    | Posted on 2007-11-29 00:00:00 | by forfila | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?    		7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    153735

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    This written by Chelebel
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Stretto written by saartha
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Commencement written by Ramneet
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Aftermath and Waltz written by HisNameIsNoMore
    All Time Low written by Janesaddiction
    I'm here written by BloodtornAngel
    The Search written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Limbo written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    Blood to Plowshares written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Sunt Mala Quae Libas written by MyPeriodical
    Love and Solitaire written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Still written by HisNameIsNoMore
    When Crows Tick on Windows written by metallichick786
    The First Time written by Wolfwatching
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    On Top of a Water Wheel written by Wolfwatching
    To the Epilogue written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Watch them Die written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    On Loop written by Daniel Barlow
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Genesis written by saartha

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry