what is wrong with you?
are you wondering what i'm thinking, too?
are you wondering if i'm thinking what you think i am?
do you think that's possible? do you think that i can?
do you think i can do that, after all i've been though?
do you think it's possible with all the thing's i've done with you?
all the thing's we've done together?
(even though it's not getting better?)
i can't help it.
i don't know.
| pretty good......it really is a good poem....keep writing, i like it a lot...........not all poems have to rhyme....of course you know that........but anyways nice work........keep writing and stay true.........-saragrace-||| Posted on 2008-04-23 00:00:00 | by Kornfreakinabox | [ Reply to This ] || so for any more of you who read this:|
i'm all better!
but i stil think it's a pretty good poem. you?
|| Posted on 2007-12-19 00:00:00 | by GoKart Mozart | [ Reply to This ] || Hmm, I'd say poetry wise, it is sort of the same with teenage angst or something like that. Ranting about the stuff that we can't do about and just feeling lost and confused. The feeling you conveyed here sort of has it's own power in its sense but if you were planning to convey more confusion you could have placed in more swirling thoughts and a sense of emptiness to emphasize a hollow and futile pursuit that more or less shows the confusion of reality and fantasy. But that's just according to my own opinion. Other than that, I understand how you feel about confusion. I have been there a lot of times and I'd say as an advice the best thing to do in order to figure out what's real is to know yourself. If you know yourself then you will be able to set the standards and ground your reality to where it is. I think we are all afraid of what we don't know and especially if it has something to do with us. It is okay to be afraid and sulk but we can't be confused forever. So we must stand up and be steadfast. And returning back to writing, I'd say decent write and powerful emotions.|
P.S. Good luck in what you are facing right now.
|| Posted on 2007-11-30 00:00:00 | by Ardor | [ Reply to This ] |