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    dots Submission Name: Darkness and Deviations dots

    Author: SanctityExposed
    ASL Info:    25
    Elite Ratio:    3.98 - 48/66/40
    Words: 274
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 881
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 1933

       Just something personal, my emotions and thoughts written in poem. Not meant to offend, just reality on my part. A mature entry, for your information.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDarkness and Deviations dots

    You're asleep now, drifting in and out of
    And I?
    I have been awake.

    It was two hours ago that I lay my head
    And two hours ago that you indulged yourself.

    I lay and I listen to your footsteps.
    I lay and I listen to doors closing.
    And there was silence.

    Not so much the fact you haven't come
    to bed.
    Though, rather, you are partaking in something
    other than me.

    You beckon me to lie with you other days,
    and I commit.
    Frustration on my part if I am not there
    with you.

    As I lay, you aren't here, and I
    I can't slumber, though pretend I do,
    and wonder.

    You have this darker side you hide from me,
    that which I do not understand.
    I'll never know, I realize, what it is you do
    but perverted my mind is by this.

    Internet slum and muted porn
    is what you sneak in here for.
    Four sheets bath tissue, one swift

    I am wrought with confusion, unable
    to decipher emotion...
    to say just how I feel about this.
    "You're incomparable."

    My feminist's side is raging out, while my
    lover's side is staying silent.
    "Porn makes me feel less of a woman to you."
    "You give me everything I need."

    Not everything you want
    I'm afraid.
    So you stealthily find a moment in darkness,
    and indulge yourself.

    I lay and I listen to defeat and humiliation,
    radiating from my heart to my willing
    "I will never add up to that."

    Submitted on 2007-11-30 01:31:53     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      hey this was a really honest and heartfelt perspective on such a sexual issue...and i appreciate your honesty! it made me feel sad for you and at the same time...it's reality that must be addressed in a relatonship. i'm a guy so obviously i have done it and have had girlfriends that touched themselves so much it drove me crazy and made feel just like you did, like i wasn't good enough. remember this...it is NOT you! this made me think of my own actions in my past relationships that may have affected my girlfriends...wow, this is a wake up call to anyone in a relationship and doing this and having it damage the most intimate thing about giving yourself to another person. very very good and may i offer a suggestion? do it together...no hiding, talk about it...make it fun to do as a couple, the worst thing to do is ignore it. anyway, what do i know, just a suggestion. awesome write!
    | Posted on 2008-02-18 00:00:00 | by scissorhands | [ Reply to This ]
      Again. Wow. Though I do not find masturbating to be....*insert right word here* I often wonder of the allure of porn for men, especially ones with significant others. Loved it.

    | Posted on 2008-02-04 00:00:00 | by Draumrkopa | [ Reply to This ]
      I also feel the need to avoid the issue mentioned, just because it's too personal of an issue for a stranger to just drop an opinion on. The structure of the poem is what i'd like to comment on, the way you broke up sentences created so much drama and tension through out the poem I HAD to keep reading. It was a little hard to read, but punctuation helped me keep on track as intended. Anyways kudos on good form.
    | Posted on 2008-01-09 00:00:00 | by Passionbyapathy | [ Reply to This ]
      ... putting aside the issue (which seems to be all anyone commented on. Er, I think, I didn't read G's) the structuring utterly fantastic and so *damn* unique. I love it and I love you for it.

    The second bit, Deviations (?), is where it gets good for me. The raw and pure emotion, the conflict is nearly palpable - if you love me then want me, why am I not good enough for you (sorta thing).

    I won't discuss the issue cause who gives a feck what Flynneh thinks.
    | Posted on 2007-12-23 00:00:00 | by Flynn | [ Reply to This ]
      I can definately see where you're coming from with this. But I have to go with the person that commented before me. Men mastrubate, its a fact of nature. But, if he is trying to hide it from you, then thats another story. If he can be open about it then compromise and understanding can be reached. If he tries to make it seem as if he doesnt do it, then that is just decietful. But, like i said, I can see your point of veiw, and of course, respect that. Anyways, it was well written, the stanza's were kind of chaotic, but it worked well for a "thoughts of the mind" kinda peice.

    Thanks for posting
    | Posted on 2007-12-08 00:00:00 | by Guermo | [ Reply to This ]
      "Not so much the fact you haven't come
    to bed.
    Though, rather, you are partaking in something
    other than me."

    Well... This is one of thos things about women that drive me crazy. Like yeah men masturbate. We all do it. There is nothing wrong with it. It's just different than sex that's why some people do it even if they have somebody. No need to get angry about it...
    | Posted on 2007-12-01 00:00:00 | by Paradox | [ Reply to This ]
      .....interesting........ i get this situation,,,,and in soem ways I do see the way porn can effect things in negative ways mostly....it does make women seem more like tools...slaves...nothing.....
    | Posted on 2007-11-30 00:00:00 | by iaida | [ Reply to This ]
      I am sorry for your situation, if it is true. It sounds like you speak from experience.

    Sadly, almost all males do this kind of thing...at least until theyre married.

    If you are married...I am sorry. You must find a way to communicate.

    Good emphasis on certain words.
    | Posted on 2007-11-30 00:00:00 | by BahamutZer0 | [ Reply to This ]

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