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    dots Submission Name: Salvation Is Only For The Dead Insidedots

    Author: Flowerinbloom
    ASL Info:    22/M/Earth (I think)
    Elite Ratio:    3.5 - 700/559/123
    Words: 113
    Class/Type: Poetry/Death
    Total Views: 998
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 688

       Not really sure how to describe this one, just started playing around with it, cant seem to find inspiration lately, its not perfect and its short but what to do?

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSalvation Is Only For The Dead Insidedots

    Kiss the dying rose to bring it back to life
    Your lips carry poisons that cut death like a knife
    Bite your tongue and swallow your pride
    Salvation is only for the dead inside
    Trace his name upon your skin
    Lust is truly the sweetest sin
    Hug your pillow and hide your screams
    The devil lives to be redeemed
    Capture his soul upon your lips
    His scent remains on your fingertips
    Stir the pot and drink his blood
    Bury him six feet under mud
    Dig him up so you can love him again
    For its the hate that keeps you sane
    Embrace him and remember his touch
    You've never hurt yourself so much

    Submitted on 2007-11-30 13:01:11     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Your words make such sad things look beautiful.
    ...It just has a big black cloud hovering over it.

    I want to point out my favorite part, but the whole thing is too perfect to pick one.

    I don't even know what to say this time.

    You're brilliant and I love it.

    | Posted on 2007-12-10 00:00:00 | by Razor2TheRosary | [ Reply to This ]
      I thought it was wonderfully written, i can't really find anything to critsize about for your poem. i truly really liked it.

    Kayla ^_^
    | Posted on 2007-12-06 00:00:00 | by WhY-dO-yOu-CrY | [ Reply to This ]
      Hehe. This is pretty good. Can't say that I relate to it but it's ok. I like the wordplay...
    | Posted on 2007-12-01 00:00:00 | by Paradox | [ Reply to This ]
      There is something to say when a poet can take imagery to such a level that it completely envelops the reader. Well done.

    | Posted on 2007-12-01 00:00:00 | by AnotherNobody | [ Reply to This ]
      Yeah, your right, it's choppy, but it's okay. Try a purposely ly choppy flow. You'd be suprised what you'd come up with when you experiment like that, and when you line it all to gether and make adjustments, you can leave it be or flow like crazy. The actuallt subject is pretty good, it's decent. It's not usually my type, but I give you thumbs up cause this must be from your heart, even if you might think it seems only from the head.
    | Posted on 2007-11-30 00:00:00 | by AeThe Lost Poet | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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