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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Love -> Confusiondots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: SlanderousLust
    ASL Info:    21/Q/Four inches from you
    Elite Ratio:    5.15 - 89/137/74
    Words: 151
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/Serious
    Total Views: 313
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 913



    Description:
       Something.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLove -> Confusiondots
    -------------------------------------------


    Speckled little drops of battery juice running about my stomach remind me of the indefinite nature of life. The Left side understands it, it's epinephrine released by the core to ignite adrenaline actions, fight or flight. Though the Right side perceives it as butterflies, stirring my insides in a ballet of malicious chaos.

    Tachycardia to Hypertension, Apnea to Disapnea. I'm a state-of-the-art vessel driven by an overachiever. Feelings and thoughts rarely stay in their natural form, they are the first domino in a long string of dominoes.

    The only thing more confusing than Love in it's primordial state, is Love after it has died that is if you believe it can die. . I for one believe it's like a cockroach, no matter how inconvenient it is you cannot get rid of it.

    Dead or alive? Not the question. Worth asking or not? Is.





    Submitted on 2007-11-30 21:47:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      The first and second paragraphs are real good - I especially like "stirring my insides in a ballet of malicious chaos."... ballet is so disciplined and organised (like glands and regimental body stuff) but the feelings they produce are so unlike that. Biology and consciousness combined can create a huge mess. And very pretty things. And nice feelings. And feelings that make very little sense. Yeah.

    oh one nitpick in the first paragraph... "The Left side understands it, it's epinephrine" I think would flow a lot better as "understands that it's epinephrine".

    Okay. Third paragraph. I like the cockroach analogy, but the rest strikes me as a bit bleh and bland compared to the rest of the piece. I really think it could do with some editing and rewriting.

    hmm I'm not sure if I like the title either, but that's just personal taste.
    | Posted on 2007-11-30 00:00:00 | by Icarus | [ Reply to This ]



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    January 10 07
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