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    dots Submission Name: Dead Dreamdots

    Author: poet09
    Elite Ratio:    3.8 - 157/162/122
    Words: 148
    Class/Type: Poetry/Being a Teen
    Total Views: 931
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 803


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    dotsDead Dreamdots

    Wishes and dreams are dead
    still thought of you run through my head
    I want to just forget you
    Because you do not show that love is true

    Anger a feeling that I feel when I see you
    My skies you were there to keep blue
    Why do I not get a reply
    I feel as though I'm gonna die

    I put no one but God before thee
    Still why can't you love me
    My love for you is starting to fade
    Do you think my feelings are a game

    I need answers to move on
    Feels like a love gone wrong
    You say you love me
    that can't be

    I hate how much I care for you
    No matter what I do
    I still love you even to this day
    but things don't want to go my way

    Submitted on 2007-12-01 10:49:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This could use some re-wording...in your attempts to rhyme, some of the lines are a bit akward and don't flow very well...

    Otherwise, I think it imparted the tug-of-war of emotions that un-reciprocated love causes very well...you have a good, solid base here.
    | Posted on 2007-12-01 00:00:00 | by Emerging Soul | [ Reply to This ]

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