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    dots Submission Name: Erunedots

    Author: SanctityExposed
    ASL Info:    25
    Elite Ratio:    3.98 - 48/66/40
    Words: 718
    Class/Type: Story/Serious
    Total Views: 968
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 4395

       This is an introduction I did for a roleplay, and it tuned out well I thought, so I decided to post it! =]

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    "There was a bed..." she thought, drifting into unconsciousness. "And-- and a belt." She added, but was soon woken by a heavy hand on the back of her head.

    "Wake up!" A loud voice, piercing, ears. "You filthy child." Sneer, anger? Hatred rising in her lungs. Erune opened her eyes slowly, rustic red eyeshadow surrounding her dark pupils. Blue hues stared at the detective. "Tell me what happened next." The man was ugly, thought 17 year old Erune, her pale lips pursed in dislike.

    "Hands, on her throat, I held tight. Like riding a roller coaster: you're scared to death, but it's so exhilarating." Hissed Erune, her shoulders rigid with memories. She swayed her head from side to side, a morbid smile at her lips, raven locks drifting at and away from her neck.

    "Oh, how she gasped for air. Oh, how odd her saliva was, dripping from her mouth so open. Mm, sweet release I gave her. Far away from mortal piety!" A cackle came from Erune, she fully partaking in such a joyous moment, tilting her head back and chortling.

    "Enough!" The detective shouted, his mustache bristling with...was it fear? Erune tilted her head back down, slamming her hands on the table, still laughing. "Did your sister really deserve such a horrible fate?" The officer asked, his dark brown orbs glittering profoundly.

    Erune began to sway again, this melodic murder in her head. "Mother and father would never approve of the slut. I gave the world a favor." Erune's eyes went wide, her smile twisting awkwardly to the side. She hated being here, she hated this man. I'll do the same to you, fatty, thought Erune.

    This had all been heard before, over and over. How had she killed her sister, motive, penalty. Ah, how she adored the penal system. She spent 2 years in the psychiatric hospital, trying to reverse the impression negligent parents left on her. The beatings, the violence among themselves, constant shaping for the "better self." Erune had enough. Though, her prayers were answered by a freak car accident, killing mother and father.

    Erune and her sister were left in the care of foster parents, who were hardly home, traveling truckers. In the window of two weeks, from her parent's death to the introduction of new guardians: she had killed her younger sister. Only 15, Erune brutally murdered the 14 year old sibling, authorities finding her shoved under the bed bound and suffocated.

    New technology quickly located the runaway Erune, and pronounced her guilty towards the death of her sister. Being under the age of adulthood, she was sent to the psychiatric hospital, where Erune would sit until privileged enough to join others like herself at a school. Evenstill, this was hazardous, though they were all like her, weren't they?

    Thinking back on this, Erune drifted away from the detective's pleading questions; it was a dead subject, literally. Later that day, she was escorted to the school, two authorities guiding her through the main doors and into the office. Enrolling, Erune smiled all the while, not seeing any students while she took the short stroll. Released into the custody of the learning establishment, she was met without courtesy and shoved quickly into the hallway with a math book.

    Glaring back towards the woman who had moved her with a deriding hand, Erune simply began walking the hallways, throwing the book in front of her onto the floor. Finding a bathroom, she quickly retreated into it, kicking open the doors with her heavy black boot.

    "Anyone here?!" she cried out, laughing loudly afterwards, the echo of recycled metal hitting metal resonating through the tiled room. Turning, she spotted herself in the mirror, her smile quickly fading. "Ugly girl..." she said softly, touching her hair lightly and her clothes. Black t-shirt, baggy black jeans with a tattered cloth belt. "Ugly, horrible girl." She said again, staring at her reflection in the cracked mirror.

    Submitted on 2007-12-03 15:36:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I agree with Flynn on this. Have you looked into a local publisher yet?

    My only problem is that I WANT more of her! She reminds me oh so vividly of myself rebelling against the society we grew up in.

    This piece definitely needs published, and I do believe you need to look online for publishers who accept unknown authors' work for contemplation.
    | Posted on 2008-01-11 00:00:00 | by DemonicInk | [ Reply to This ]
      I don't like handing out candy, compliments, and pocket fulls of sunshine, but I wanna ask you this-

    Have you tried getting published?
    I have read your last few writings. I've been watching you intently, anticipating your submissions in hope of catching that glimmer of talent you seem to radiate. This is no exception, and try as I may I found no glaring mistakes.

    Your writing is exceptional, and I suggest getting it seen if you haven't already.

    | Posted on 2007-12-04 00:00:00 | by Flynn | [ Reply to This ]

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