i can relate to not transacting in real-time as it is less risky than offering your soul-essence in relationship! good to see that you hold yourself and others to a higher standard, lol.
btw, i like the introduction of 'recursive', followed by 'part, part, part, partly', v nicely done.
if the object of your desire had known she had such a worthy audience, she may have made more of an effort! ;O)