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    dots Submission Name: Dejection dots

    Author: Algol46
    ASL Info:    200/m/East of Eden
    Elite Ratio:    2.72 - 1111/1235/613
    Words: 193
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 1389
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1178

       The first 8 lines of this poem were, believe it or not, remembered from a dream. I changed only two words.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDejection dots

    If I were what the rose is
    And you, my love, were dew,
    Id scent you with aromas
    Distilled from subtle somas
    More precious than red roses
    On paths that angels knew.
    If I were what the rose is
    And you, my love, were dew.

    If I were what the air is,
    And you, my love were breath,
    Id fill your soul with wonder,
    Your pulsing heart with thunder,
    Till each soft sigh a prayer is
    And banish fears of death.
    If I were what the air is,
    And you, my love were breath.

    If I were what the Moon is,
    And you, my love, were words,
    With opal glows Id fashion
    Clay tablets wet and ashen
    Where each most potent rune is
    Like frail enchanted birds,
    If I were what the Moon is,
    And you, my love, were words.

    If I were what the poem is,
    And you, my love, were cruel,
    Youd leave me broken, sighing,
    Till all my dreams went flying,
    Blown as the ocean foam is
    To some salt drowning pool,
    For I am what this poem is,
    And you, my love, are cruel.

    Submitted on 2007-12-04 08:28:56     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
    | Posted on 2010-03-08 00:00:00 | by metallichick786 | [ Reply to This ]
      Many things have been written about love. So it's very difficult to write something beautiful and original without being clich. But you still managed it. This poem is amazing , brilliant, magnificent,sweet and much, much more!!!!!

    - Rose
    | Posted on 2008-07-03 00:00:00 | by Roselize | [ Reply to This ]
      This is simply magnificent. Deleriously beautifully amazing. The best thing I have read in ages. I have no words.
    You always amaze me with your brilliance.

    | Posted on 2007-12-21 00:00:00 | by blu_kittin | [ Reply to This ]
      How amazing is this... almost felt as if I'm reading Romeo & Juliet. Very tender and sweet and masterfully crafted.

    Great write.
    | Posted on 2007-12-06 00:00:00 | by Beulah | [ Reply to This ]
      Beautiful work. The flow is magical and the imagery is majestic. Bravo on this! I will be placing it into my favorites...
    | Posted on 2007-12-05 00:00:00 | by gavinspikenard | [ Reply to This ]
      This poem is absolutely great! Love is a many splendored thing, and your marvelous poem adresses many of the splendors. Love can be so sublime, and because it is, can also be so hurtful and cruel! Seems like you have addressed all here!

    This is virtually a classic! Marvelous! More!!!
    | Posted on 2007-12-04 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]

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