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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Let You In [Edited]dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Katherine_Music
    ASL Info:    21/F/NC
    Elite Ratio:    3.38 - 17/18/11
    Words: 145
    Class/Type: Lyrics/
    Total Views: 864
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 889



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLet You In [Edited]dots
    -------------------------------------------


    I close my eyes to dream at night
    But I'm haunted by your face
    Every time I turn around
    There you are
    Why can't you stay in your place.

    [Chorus:]
    I put you out of my mind
    But you keep coming back around
    I guess my walls crumbled
    When I let you in
    Next time I meet someone like you
    They won't get to see me shatter
    Like you did when I let you in.

    Yesterday I saw a couple in the halls
    The very sight of them got me crying
    I guess since you left
    I've been soft-hearted
    And now I can't tell when people are lying.

    [Chorus] 2X

    I just had to let you in
    You took my heart
    When you took my hand
    Look at me closely
    And you'll see your mark
    The large hole in my heart.




    Submitted on 2007-12-04 18:43:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      hey hi this was good has a sombre rythem to it i liked it

    sandman
    | Posted on 2007-12-05 00:00:00 | by sandman | [ Reply to This ]
      this is a very beautiful piece. i have to put it on my favorites!
    </3 lisa
    | Posted on 2007-12-04 00:00:00 | by 777sacrites777 | [ Reply to This ]
      Not bad, as I read I tried to think of what piano or guitar chords would go well with it. Something slow and melancholy would set the mood right.

    Getting hurt is the most dangerous part of loving someone, but anything worth doing most have a price right? That's what I kept telling myself.

    I think you meant indentation at the end of the chorus, but it doesn't really fit. It's too long, to clinical sounding. I think I'd try something like
    "Look at me closely
    You'll see your mark
    You'll see my wounded soul."

    Just a suggestion but I don't know what kind of melody you had in mind, with lyrics syllables and word rhythms are everything

    Lady
    | Posted on 2007-12-04 00:00:00 | by LadyChaos | [ Reply to This ]


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