[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Let You In [Edited]dots

    Author: Katherine_Music
    ASL Info:    21/F/NC
    Elite Ratio:    3.38 - 17/18/11
    Words: 145
    Class/Type: Lyrics/
    Total Views: 864
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 889


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLet You In [Edited]dots

    I close my eyes to dream at night
    But I'm haunted by your face
    Every time I turn around
    There you are
    Why can't you stay in your place.

    I put you out of my mind
    But you keep coming back around
    I guess my walls crumbled
    When I let you in
    Next time I meet someone like you
    They won't get to see me shatter
    Like you did when I let you in.

    Yesterday I saw a couple in the halls
    The very sight of them got me crying
    I guess since you left
    I've been soft-hearted
    And now I can't tell when people are lying.

    [Chorus] 2X

    I just had to let you in
    You took my heart
    When you took my hand
    Look at me closely
    And you'll see your mark
    The large hole in my heart.

    Submitted on 2007-12-04 18:43:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      hey hi this was good has a sombre rythem to it i liked it

    | Posted on 2007-12-05 00:00:00 | by sandman | [ Reply to This ]
      this is a very beautiful piece. i have to put it on my favorites!
    </3 lisa
    | Posted on 2007-12-04 00:00:00 | by 777sacrites777 | [ Reply to This ]
      Not bad, as I read I tried to think of what piano or guitar chords would go well with it. Something slow and melancholy would set the mood right.

    Getting hurt is the most dangerous part of loving someone, but anything worth doing most have a price right? That's what I kept telling myself.

    I think you meant indentation at the end of the chorus, but it doesn't really fit. It's too long, to clinical sounding. I think I'd try something like
    "Look at me closely
    You'll see your mark
    You'll see my wounded soul."

    Just a suggestion but I don't know what kind of melody you had in mind, with lyrics syllables and word rhythms are everything

    | Posted on 2007-12-04 00:00:00 | by LadyChaos | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    Are not cheap (working title) written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Every..... written by jackz
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    The Azores written by poetotoe
    True Death written by layDsayD
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Cover written by saartha
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    Carry written by saartha
    Ache written by rev.jpfadeproof




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]