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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Tomorrow's Sindots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Sir Fusting
    Elite Ratio:    1.38 - 5/33/25
    Words: 78
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 806
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 541



    Description:
       Quickly done, not my usual topic, but I figured I'd branch out. Any criticism would be great, thanks.

    -Dustin


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTomorrow's Sindots
    -------------------------------------------


    Staining the fingers and stamping on death,
    Liquid life of red pouring from a cold chest,
    Pooling in creases and imperfect ground,
    Trickling gently ever so slowly down,
    Shining and shimmering still hot in the air,
    Essence is draining, no life shall it spare,
    Hold still your body, don't suffer anymore,
    I'll lay by your side 'til you're dead on the floor,
    Be at peace, little soul, flutter away,
    For what's done tomorrow is repaid today.





    Submitted on 2007-12-05 21:49:07     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      FOr a quick poem, this was great, i loved the creativity you put into your lines, there unique and different and i like that. A lot of poeple use a lot of the same words, i have to say i use them too, but this i have to say was a wonderful read ^_^
    | Posted on 2007-12-06 00:00:00 | by WhY-dO-yOu-CrY | [ Reply to This ]
      This is great!!

    I love your imagery here:

    Staining the fingers and stamping on death,
    Pooling in creases and imperfect ground,
    Shining and shimmering still hot in the air
    Essence is draining, no life shall it spare,


    These lines are fantastic!

    The ending was so gentle and oyur transition flawless; fit in perfectly.

    I see you've improved already. Great job :]
    | Posted on 2007-12-06 00:00:00 | by TheStillSilence | [ Reply to This ]


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