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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Namelessdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: EternitysLyre
    ASL Info:    20/M/Taiwan.
    Elite Ratio:    7.13 - 151/168/42
    Words: 395
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 476
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2713



    Description:
       We've never been the same since.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Namelessdots
    -------------------------------------------







    The songbirds awaken with the first tunes of dawn
    And serenades break amidst clouds
    Whilst long words retaken spin with grace of the fawn
    And away goes the shivering shrouds

    Bright eyes spring to conscious in inquisitive gaze
    The grass sparkling diamonds of dew
    The oblique of mornings pierces warmth through the haze
    And everything rises anew

    One pair was shining with particular glee
    One mind gave radiance, feeling fresher than spring
    One heart felt cooler than the sweet autumn leaves
    Lyrethal Iris sang the song of the breeze—

    His lips bore a curl that none could forget
    His face drew emotions from the soul’s own palette
    His presence was cherished as the sun could be perished
    But nothing would notice him yet.

    The murmurs of children falling out of their dreams
    The wonders all gilded, enveloped in steam
    Everyone saw him but none understood—
    But he couldn’t blame them—nobody could.

    The world saw him everywhere—the sun was his carriage;
    The warmth behind daylight to heal the disparaged.
    When joy was abundant and dejection struck few
    The grasses once sparkled with diamonds of dew.

    The seconds flowed forward in their steady pace
    His strength waxed and weakened but he glided with grace
    Residing in hearts with his candle alone
    He warmed all the world and drew sunlight from stones

    Wherever he traveled, the gold swiftly followed;
    Wherever he smiled, he silenced all sorrows
    As day pursued footsteps from behind came in starkness
    And as moon trailed the smile the world fell into darkness

    The evening would whisper, enticing the fool
    The starlight would sprinkle the mem’ries anew
    The moon brought a presence so refreshingly cool—
    But grasses grew dimmer as the diamonds grew few

    And then day never came
    The world stood still
    The grasses would change
    And despair took the hill

    None could remember the smile of his features
    And none could recall what he sang
    And sooner or later they returned to their preachers
    And soon it began to rain—

    And henceforth the nameless went nameless once more
    The smile flickered faintly as the notes lost their score
    The moonlight befell all the world below
    The daylight paced onward
    But nothing would show—



    —The diamonds were drowned and the grass wouldn't glow—




    Submitted on 2004-06-25 05:23:40     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I'm surprised none of your commenters mentioned the content of your poem. Am I way off base or is this about a child dying? Is that why your description says you've never been the same?

    The is one of the most exquisite poems I've read on this site. Your metaphors were beautiful but not so obscure as to be off-putting. Unlike your last commenter, I felt the structure was perfect. It lent order to a fairly long poem - not that I have anything at all against long poems. I was spellbound by the poem.

    Thanks so much for sharing this. I really hope I'm wrong in my interpretation. mae
    | Posted on 2005-01-14 00:00:00 | by mae | [ Reply to This ]
      You know this is a ver well writen piece, and I like it. As a talented person, you should learn to tame your confidence or you will wind up looking like a cocky a-hole that you do -Remember that! nice work here~L.t
    | Posted on 2005-03-05 00:00:00 | by LameMansTerms | [ Reply to This ]
      You know this is a ver well writen piece, and I like it. As a talented person, you should learn to tame your confidence or you will wind up looking like a cocky a-hole that you do -Remember that! nice work here~L.t
    | Posted on 2005-03-05 00:00:00 | by LameMansTerms | [ Reply to This ]
      I suppose this a beautiful poem, But i felt it was overly structured. Too rigid...The last line was nice...and gave a very pretty image...but too much attention to form usually detracts from attention put into the substance.
    | Posted on 2004-06-30 00:00:00 | by LadyChaos | [ Reply to This ]
      this is such an intriguing poem I love the way you held such nice rhyming with not a hint of force, this poem is so dreamy like I think I'll put it on my favs list
    | Posted on 2004-06-25 00:00:00 | by Broken Angel | [ Reply to This ]
      ummm... didnt your whole rhyming scheme change and then change back again? im guessing that was on purpose?? (sorry i dont know anything about poetry forms and patterns and all...) anyways you have some gorgeous imagery in here 'children falling out of their dreams' is awesome!
    good write
    | Posted on 2004-06-25 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]



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