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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Second Bestdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Zu
    Elite Ratio:    5.12 - 446/379/76
    Words: 236
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Misc
    Total Views: 821
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1534



    Description:
       Well... this here is a rewrite (sort of) of this song i'd written a long time ago... I'm putting music to it (finally) and made some changes to go along with it... It's not done yet, so this isn't by any means the final version... It'd be nice if you could tell me what genre music you think this should be.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSecond Bestdots
    -------------------------------------------


    They tell me I'm a genius
    Then why am i so lost?
    I'll have to face the truth
    I'm always second in people's hearts.
    I try too hard all the time
    I race against the gun
    It's first I try to find
    But i land up with second

    But I am the Jack of all trades
    Even though they say I'm blessed
    Whatever it is that i'll do
    I'll always be second best.

    Second best... second best...

    There she is the girl i like
    All dressed up nowhere to go
    I'd take her if i could drive
    Someone else took her down the road
    I'm way up on the list
    Somewhere between first and third
    But i always get missed
    Second's not that nice a word...

    But I am the Jack of all trades
    Even though they say I'm blessed
    Whatever it is that i'll do
    I'll always be second best.

    Second best... second best...

    Sometimes i can't see
    What is the matter with me
    But i know i'm not first more or less
    Cause i'll always be second best.

    Come to think of it
    I think I hate the number two now (I swear)

    But I am the Jack of all trades
    Even though they say I'm blessed
    Whatever it is that i'll do
    I'll always be second best.

    Second best... second best... (repeat till end)




    Submitted on 2007-12-06 01:30:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      hmmm well the first thing that stuck out at me when reading this was how broken up it sounded, like the breaks in each line weren't quite right, or the lines just didn't flow very good. and maybe thats just me not reading it so great. anyhow it bothered me enough to make me read it again so i'd have to concentrate on the words. and once i did that... i've formed quite the little opinion on maybe your thoughts rather than the writing itself. so you can disregard this if ya want.

    first off, you should never look to other people to figure out what you are. in the end who is making you 2nd best? you are... just cause one girl picks another guy, doesn't mean theres not one out there thats gonna put you first. and surely i know how ya feel anyways, when the one you want doesn't want you. so very relateable topic at least. as far as being a genius and that meaning you get to be first in someones heart, i don't think that they are connected at all. maybe thats where your frustration lays?

    i guess i'm kind of confused how you put those two thoughts into this. maybe its just me. however i know the jack of all trades thing, but to me, its always meant that you were ok at everything but never really found the one thing you were excellent at. and if that were the case with you i think this makes alot more sense. but it seems to me you were trying to convey that because you were always said to be so great, that she would have seen you that way too?? and in the end i think you sounded kind of whiny, which sort of put me off to this in a whole.

    i guess what i am trying to say is that i think alot of the thoughts contradicted themselves, and i was confused. in the end yeah i was very confused. so this probably isn't a very helpful critique. but the thing that stuck out at me the most, like i said before, was how it didn't seem to flow together, it has a lot of nice single lines but i think it doesn't all seem to fit very well. maybe some more work. i don't know, i guess i know how it goes when you have so much to say!

    i hope this helped some, and sorry it wasn't very positive in the end, but i think this has great potential! what kind of song is it going to be??

    steph
    | Posted on 2007-12-09 00:00:00 | by playcrackthesky | [ Reply to This ]
      i guess thats the risk one takes when they are a jack of all trades. usuall people have one thing they are amazing at whereas if youre lucky enough to be amazing all round it makes you seem like youre not amazing at anything some days.

    your song is interesting.

    i would think about changing that hating number two line... i dont know... theres something about it that seems over stated and out of sync with the rest of the song but thats just me. its always hard to critique lyrics though because they cannot be heard as they are intended to be heard.

    good luck with the music
    | Posted on 2007-12-06 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]


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