[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Extinction of Imaginationdots

    Author: ravenwolf68
    ASL Info:    40/not enough/Ohio
    Elite Ratio:    4.76 - 690/543/62
    Words: 356
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1717
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2294

       Used to look out in my neighborhood and see kids plaing outside some make-believe scene - I no longer see them playing - I guess fresh air has been replaced by virtual play grounds accessed from a couch...

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsExtinction of Imaginationdots

    When Alice left her Wonderland
    Her youth slipped thru her hands
    Devoting herself to grown-up things
    Adult reality clipping her wings

    Peter Pan, who once flew so high
    Gave to Wendy a symbol
    Left his youth locked in a thimble
    Now he has bills and frustrated sighs

    Childhood is supposed to be an ignorant bliss
    Far removed from adulthood trysts
    A life of color and animals talking
    Not war, not death – not perverts stalking

    Fun is make-believe and staring at clouds
    Dancing, playing and living out loud
    Parents never bothered to tell
    About a kid’s future adult hell

    Somewhere over the course of time
    In a quest to make a child’s future fine
    They created little adults that were favored
    Who expect life on a platter without their labor

    Before us now stands some super race
    Thru computers and high-tech run a fast pace
    With unimaginative and cruel number crunches
    Screwing over friends during martini lunches

    You can no longer just ask Alice
    Why the world is now filled with malice
    She won’t answer questions that hard
    Until she gets your credit card

    Peter Pan no longer has his fairy dust
    He sold it off for a night of lust
    Humpty Dumpty fell off the wall
    All because of the Market fall

    To make this long story short is too late
    But can you understand our future’s fate
    Childhood innocence has been forsaken
    Since their imagination has been taken

    Snow White no longer needs a kiss to be woke
    Just a shot and few lines of coke
    Prince Charming and his sword are no longer dapper
    Now it’s an ouzi and a gangster rapper

    I am lucky I was raised by the book
    No, the other one – about Captain Hook
    Where pirates fight for gold on the Spanish Main
    Where a prince and true love are the girl’s final gain

    Just like in the “NeverEnding Story”
    We’ve run out of heroes – only in it for glory
    “The Nothing” will become all too real
    If children are not permitted to feel


    Submitted on 2007-12-06 20:37:15     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This is so true Lisa. You really hit the proverbial nail on the head with this one. Kids need to get outside more...away from high-tech games and such... and learn what it really means to be a kid. I love the way you added humor to this sensible poem.
    Good message! Good writing!
    | Posted on 2008-02-10 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]
      sh!te!! i just wrote a long ole comment, and i lost it!! bllllrggggggggggh!

    here goes....
    i think this is a brilliant piece of work that you should be really proud of. i love the way you use fairy tale characters and put them in morally bankrupt situations. it hits home real hard what our society has become like and how young children are exposed to violence, drugs, and any number of negative things.
    the rhyme is fairly tight. i've never been too fond of rhyme, but it works well here because of the fairy tale subject matter.

    i remember when i was a kid, and we played all kind of imaginative games. i loved fairy tales, particularly Hans Christian Andersen. kids grow up way too fast these days, and it frightens me...

    very well done, Lisa!! brava!!

    Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.
    Humpty Dumpty never did fall.
    All the King's horses
    and all the King's men
    pushed him over the edge
    so the Queen could have breakfast!!!

    Thumbelina, Thumbelina,
    tiny as, well, a thumb.
    She couldn't get a date,
    so having no mate,
    she drowned herself
    in a thimble full of rum...!!

    lol!! ;)
    | Posted on 2008-02-01 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked the moral of this piece for we all could use some time like we had during the days of Beaver Clever and Andy Taylor.

    The one disconcerting thing for me is how you totally changed your rhyme scheme in the second stanza. for me it through the flow of the piece way off kilter and bothered me through the rest of the read.
    | Posted on 2008-01-04 00:00:00 | by ErgoIgo | [ Reply to This ]
      It's saddening how fast children are growing up, moreso now than ever. I thought I grew up fast, but to hear and read about kids now... hmm yup.

    I think fairytales teach us a lot about our inner selves--what we secretly dream of and aspire to become, or not become... that intrinsic battle of good versus evil, or morality versus corruption... has always been waged inside every one of us since time immemorial.

    There's fairydust in every little thing, but only if you believe it... I find it in music and laughter, love and companionship... it's so frail though, isn't it?

    Woosh. Sparkles.
    | Posted on 2007-12-26 00:00:00 | by alteredlife | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow. You said that perfectly. Some of it even made me laugh... because it's so f*cking true.

    "Not war, not death – not perverts stalking"

    Pedophiles are everywhere, dude. For some reason, they really like me... which is why I'm always armed and ready to stab someone. Haha. I have knives stashed all over myself.

    "Parents never bothered to tell
    About a kid’s future adult hell"

    I'm not so sure I've gotten there yet. Maybe one day someone will hire me so I can have enough money to move the f*ck out.
    Actually, I think everything is it's own type of hell in one way or another.

    "They created little adults that were favored
    Who expect life on a platter without their labor"

    That made me think of Paris Hilton. I hate that b*tch. She's just a mentally incapacitated whore who happens to have a lot of money.
    She's overrated.


    "Before us now stands some super race
    Thru computers and high-tech run a fast pace
    With unimaginative and cruel number crunches
    Screwing over friends during martini lunches"

    I really like that part. It has a very nice ring to it.

    "She won’t answer questions that hard
    Until she gets your credit card"

    Hah That's sad... and kinda funny.

    "Snow White no longer needs a kiss to be woke
    Just a shot and few lines of coke"

    Yup. This is what's the world has come to. That's too bad though. It has potential to be such a lovely place.

    "We’ve run out of heroes – only in it for glory"

    ...Couldn't be more true.

    "“The Nothing” will become all too real
    If children are not permitted to feel"

    That's one of those things that make you say "aww."
    Awesome ending.

    And your description reminded me of my friend who is basically addicted to some ridiculous online game. It's all he ever does... and I mean that literally.

    I use the internet too, but I do other things as well. My life doesn't revolve around it, you know?
    And I know that people you talk to online are real people (obviously), and it's fine to care about them and consider them friends, but they shouldn't replace the other parts of your life... if that makes any sense.

    He recently told me that he likes someone he met on there more than he likes me.
    Umm... WHAT?!?! What kind of bulls*it is THAT?? I've been the best f*cking friend he could ever f*cking hope for, damnit.
    He's known her for a few f*cking weeks!! I've devoted five years to that assh*le.
    And then he had the nerve to say, "Wanna hang out? I crave human contact."
    Uhh... No. F*CK you. Why don't you tell your f*cking stranger that and drive your ass to Virginia and hang out with HER!!!!
    I could just... KILL him. (Really, nobody would notice.)

    What a f*cking dick. (Hah No pun intended.)

    Sorry about the rant. I'm kinda pissed off.

    But back to my comment...

    I really like the way you threw in those fictional characters and managed to make them seem real.

    I didn't notice the rhyming at first, which means it was done VERY well. I know you don't usually make things rhyme, but apparently you're good at it.

    So the point of this really long message is... I enjoyed it.
    Haha God, my mind is all over the place.

    Anywho, as I've said before... your stream of talent never stops flowing.

    Thanks for giving me something awesome to read. I've been terribly bored.

    | Posted on 2007-12-10 00:00:00 | by Razor2TheRosary | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this, Lisa! I look with a degree of concern, even alarm, at some of the things that are lost from the good old days, such as reading books, things that engaged the intellect and the imagination, outdoor play for children and youngsters that was healthy for them in more than just physical ways!

    Excellent write! Bravo!
    | Posted on 2007-12-08 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]
      something a bit different for you with the rhyming thing and all.

    You know I usually don't comment on your stuff but I really liked this. Aren't you glad you raised yours on books and make-believe?

    Excellent look at what is happening to our kids today - well thought out and well said. As much as you hate to rhyme, you sure do make it look easy and not forced in here...nice one

    | Posted on 2007-12-08 00:00:00 | by celtic_poet | [ Reply to This ]

    I was just listening to this discussion on the radio on the way home yesterday. WHERE ARE THE KIDS?!?!?!?

    On the couch.

    When was the last time you saw a house get TP'd?

    When was the last time you had to pull over because you were afraid you were going to hit one of the nine kids barrelling towards you on their BMX bikes?

    Where did the kids go???

    It makes me appreciate those emails I get from people that are all about..."Remember when we drank water out of a hose and we didnt die?"

    Fifty years from now its going to be..."Remember how you couldnt let a person down because you only knew each other online?"


    "Remember when people lived over the age of fifty because they didn't slouch around and get fat?"

    Perfect...the perfect song just came on my comp as I type this. Pearl Jam...Off He Goes.

    Mona Lisa...I don't care what happens from here on out between you and I, but I just want to let you know that I am glad I drove up to Portland Oregon and met you, Chell and Traci on October 15th of the year 2005 in an "alternative lifestyle" night club and we all sat around at a table, face to face and laughed and talked like old friends that never lost each other yet never knew how amazing we all were. Ya know.

    I give two thumbs up to that night every time I think of it.

    And then smile and say..."AAAAAHHHHHHH"

    | Posted on 2007-12-07 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
      It's a scary world out there for today's children, and I would not choose to do it all over again even if I were offered the opportunity to be young again. I truly appreciated all your thoughts and insight while bringing in the much loved fictional characters for children's literature. There are too many wonderful lines to even begin quoting. Great job, Sharon
    | Posted on 2007-12-07 00:00:00 | by Peggy Paris | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]