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High Interest.


Author: SlanderousLust
ASL Info:    21/Q/Four inches from you
Elite Ratio:    5.15 - 89 /137 /74
Words: 157
Class/Type: Poetry /Love
Total Views: 1609
Average Vote:    1.0000
Bytes: 1106



Description:


Play on words, a free flowing yet regimented poem. .Don't freaking comment on spelling or punctuation or I'll be forced to stab your eyes out with an unsharpened pencil. Thanks ^-^


High Interest.



I ponder as I stroll:

A glance through a window
marked with the blatant signs
has captured my attention
left me reading between the lines.

I see a shimmer there
something I once had
I see her through the window
standing scantly clad.

And I think too fast:

I know I can't afford her,
yet I once adored her,
I even abhorred her
I nearly restored her
and she's standing on the border
of sight and sound
where I've found
that pound for pound
she's quite bound
to confound me.

So I slow my breathing and act:

Hands to my pockets,
I'll avoid eye contact.
Consider this carefully,
I'll shuffle my feet.
Tell the salesman something,
I'll try to talk him down.
Mumble my words,
I'll take my sweet time.

And then I introvert:

A loan on Love has high interest.








Submitted on 2007-12-06 21:51:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  Your description is fan-f*cking-tastic.

But on to my comment...

If there are any spelling or punctuation mistakes, I was too wrapped up in the words to notice them.

It's a cute story... Kind of sad, but that's what I like.

My favorite part would have to be:

"I know I can't afford her,
yet I once adored her,
I even abhorred her
I nearly restored her
and she's standing on the border
of sight and sound
where I've found
that pound for pound
she's quite bound
to confound me."

Do you have any idea of how perfect that is?!? ...I guess so... but I feel the need to point it out.
I love how you didn't just throw those words together because they rhymed (which many people do these days). You didn't stray from the point by only trying to make it sound good, you know?
But it makes sense AND sounds pretty freaking awesome, so that's excellent.

The last line, "A loan on Love has high interest" made me smile. I love it. Haha...Very clever... and true.

Good stuff.
It's one of the best I've read in a while.



-nikkki
| Posted on 2007-12-12 00:00:00 | by Razor2TheRosary | [ Reply to This ]


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