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    dots Submission Name: There's Nothing Wrongdots

    Author: Raivn
    ASL Info:    33/f/al
    Elite Ratio:    4.28 - 1222/916/231
    Words: 133
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 492
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 920

       well, there isn't

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThere's Nothing Wrongdots

    There's nothing wrong with wanting you
    With feeling this desire
    You'd be as much to blame as I
    Your lips do stoke this fire

    There's nothing wrong with touching you
    It's something that I rather enjoy
    You know how weak my resistance is
    You're such a pretty boy

    There's nothing wrong with feeling things
    It's a natural talent of mine
    And the desire to see the good in you
    Can sometimes make me blind

    There's nothing wrong with saying out loud
    The things I long to do
    I feel it's best to be honest about it
    Especially since it's you

    There's nothing wrong with wanting you
    There's nothing wrong with having fun
    Just make sure you never fall in love
    And I'll keep in mind you're not the one.

    Submitted on 2007-12-08 01:34:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I love the ending ...great work ..and yeah there's nothing wrong !
    | Posted on 2008-01-15 00:00:00 | by drakoniss | [ Reply to This ]
      I appreciate this. The sincerity. I appreciate and understand the sentiment. It's kind of like if I were fall in love with a painting that didn't love me back.
    | Posted on 2008-01-12 00:00:00 | by Raivn | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked your poem. I am not sure if this is a warning not to fall in love or just a declaration about how you feel. While reading this poem I couldnít help to feel itís too late, you are already in love, and then denying his, maybe youíre afraid to take the leap. Do you know who the one is?

    I enjoyed your poem,
    | Posted on 2008-01-10 00:00:00 | by Polydectes | [ Reply to This ]
      Sounds very much like the old cake and eat it too syndrome my friend Raivn. It's okay to swoop in for a taste but make it swift before it is habit forming...aka love!!!!!!!!!
    | Posted on 2008-01-04 00:00:00 | by ErgoIgo | [ Reply to This ]
      This is great, Raivn! The rhyme scheme is good, and the story is "nifty"!

    I especially like your opening stanza:

    'There's nothing wrong with wanting you
    With feeling this desire
    You'd be as much to blame as I
    Your lips do stoke this fire'


    Nice work, gal!
    | Posted on 2007-12-09 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like this :D
    They way it all goes together is really unique I'd say
    Keep writing, your really good :]
    | Posted on 2007-12-09 00:00:00 | by BeIIa | [ Reply to This ]

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