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    dots Submission Name: A Thing Called Realdots

    Author: Ayane
    ASL Info:    17/F/IL
    Elite Ratio:    2.75 - 71/128/60
    Words: 342
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 814
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2064

       A friend of mine inspired me to write this. He's been very depressed lately so he's starting to believe that if he cuts himself off from everyone, he won't have to get hurt again. it really hurts me to think that I'm losing him over something that's just human nature...

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA Thing Called Realdots

    There was a boy I used to know
    Who had a lovely smile
    His eyes would spark a dazzling blue
    His gaze stunned all for miles

    But now the boy has lost his face
    Her never seems to care
    He sleeps the day in alleyways
    His train now leads nowhere

    This loving boy I used to know
    Possessed a caring heart
    His dreams would someday give him wings
    But we would not depart

    But now the boy has lost his heart
    His will, a fading fire
    A soul no longer lives within
    He's plastic parts and wire

    The caring boy I used to know
    Had friends he all adored
    We'd play the day on busy streets
    We loved, we laughed, explored

    But now the boy is all alone
    A sadness he can't see
    His chilling heart kept love away
    Now all who's left is me

    The talented boy I used to know
    Could sing and dance and draw
    He painted all the beauty in life
    For he painted what he saw

    But now the boy has turned away
    Now facing just the dark
    His skin is pale, and cold, and dead
    All matching with his heart

    The living boy I used to know
    Was active as the sun
    His healing rays helped all the world
    His life had just begun

    But now he's thrown it all away
    All thought, his joys, and fears
    I know deep down he's still alive
    I still can see his tears

    He thought that it would help him
    To turn off all he feels
    But what he thought was out to kill
    Was just a thing called Real

    He never wanted to get hurt
    He wanted to stay sane
    He paid a price so dear and great
    To run away from Pain

    Submitted on 2007-12-08 13:13:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I also have to agree with everyone that simplicity and reality made this piece totally flawless. You are great keep it up.

    A new fan
    | Posted on 2008-06-13 00:00:00 | by b_v_grant | [ Reply to This ]
      I have to agree that simplicity is the key to this piece here. It's very easy to read, and flows very well. On top of that though, it put an imagery of a drifter in my head. I kind of like how it tells a story in a way. I think this could make for an interesting song, if you chose to turn it into such, because of it's simplicity, but also because it's soemthing many people relate to.
    | Posted on 2008-06-11 00:00:00 | by hybridsongwrite | [ Reply to This ]
      I think I can understand what this is about. You put everything so simply, it makes it so much more poignant, and real. But you know, this has happened to so many people, and will happen to many more, sad but true.
    | Posted on 2007-12-08 00:00:00 | by marigold | [ Reply to This ]

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