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Author: Innocencebroken
ASL Info:    28/F/Illinois
Elite Ratio:    0.27 - 3 /2 /2
Words: 1439
Class/Type: Story /Serious
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I'm making an attempt at writing my very first book - a memoir/autobiography of sorts. The above is simply the foreword to my novel. If it goes over well - I will post more.


I’m the girl in the neighborhood who everyone thinks is strange, until they get to know me. Then they’re certain of it. The one who’s a little too quiet, a little off. The one who’ll usually wave very fast and offer a hurried “Hi” before ducking back into her own little world. Maybe they’re right, maybe I’m not quite normal. I’ve always thought “normal” was boring anyway, don’t you agree? After all, there’s no such thing as perfection. It’s our differences that set us apart. Make us interesting. Make us beautiful.
I think a lot, but not about anything in particular. I avoid people, but not as a rule. It’s not that I don’t like people or that I’m anti-social. I find the human race very fascinating and if you catch me at the right time, I’ll talk to anyone, about anything, for hours. Catch me at any other time and well, I’m more of an observer than a talker. Even then I’m really only partially observing. The rest of me is most likely lost in thought. Don’t ask me about what. I’m not entirely sure I could answer.
`Daydreams often supplement the monotony of my everyday life. I spend a lot of my time wrapped up in the muddle of musings and imaginings that just so happens to be the natural state of affairs up in the ol’ think tank. I rather like it. I believe it’s the one aspect of myself and my life in which I find the chaos soothing, not to mention very entertaining. So, if you only walk past me only to be ignored, and you find yourself wondering if, by chance, it’s because I’m imagining what it might be like to suddenly acquire super powers and fly around the world faster than the speed of light, or pretending that some unknown and exotic Prince Charming is just around the corner waiting to sweep me away, or perhaps even contemplating how many licks it really does take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop…you could be right.
People are surprised at how intelligent they think I am but I’m telling you now, it’s purely instinctual. I will admit I have a knack for figuring things out but I attribute this to no more than dumb, blind luck. Add to this the stubbornness of a mule and I’m bound to figure things out eventually.
Place in front of me any concrete object whether ancient, modern or yet unthought-of and I can almost guarantee you that I can dissect it, analyze it, put it back together and have it working better than ever. (Just don’t ask me afterwards what I did or how I did it. Most likely I wouldn’t have a clue. At very best you could expect me to utter some phrase containing words such as do-hickey, thing-a-ma-gig and what-cha-ma-call-it.) Hand me a human emotion and I can do the same but that’s only because I’ve experienced firsthand more than enough human emotion. Purely instinctual. After much deliberation, I’ve concluded that human is the one thing I understand both very well and not at all.
I can mingle with the best of them and have been known to hold my own in most any type of conversation. Business. Current-affairs. Politics. The funny thing is, I don’t really know any of it. Purely instinctual. Current events are too depressing, politics too warped. I’ve never even voted (unless fifth grade class president counts). Appalling, I know, but in all honesty I really don’t care. I can only imagine how many people I’ve spoken with on these matters are reading this right now, eyes wide with accusation, thinking “but she said…” The truth is, I do have strong personal opinions on these things, but only when they are brought to my attention. I can converse well in these fields, but only when I know it’s expected of me. The majority of my time is spent blissfully oblivious.
I justify this by pointing out the fact that more often than not, when there is something worth discussing in these topics, the bad far outweighs the good. I know what you’re thinking. It’s because of people like me, who sit around and do nothing, that the world is in the state it is today. Maybe you’re right. Sometimes I feel bad for taking the attitude that I have; as if I should somehow force myself to become more aware of my surrounding but I just…can’t.
I’m too easily distracted by the things that really matter. For example, what the guy walking down the street across from my might be thinking or how many people have stood in the exact same spot I’m standing in now and why, in the entire English language, there is no word that effectively rhymes with “orange”. Thoughts like this leave me feeling content. Get me thinking politics and international happenings and the list of people I want to line up against a wall grows longer and longer. Just one good thwap upside each of their heads. “Duh! McFlyyyy…Now go to your room and don’t come out until you’re ready to be a good little ruler or….whatever you are.” Yes. You see, that’s my solution to the whole thing. I’m a lover not a fighter. I don’t need the extra aggravation. In my case, at least, ignorance really is bliss.
Relationships? Fugit about it! Put me in a relationship and nine times out of ten all you get is a recipe for disaster. I have this inherent fear of getting too close to people and yet I seem to do it all too easily; involuntarily. I care too much, I give too freely and I have the natural ability of being way too in tune with those around me. It’s awful because it makes people like me, and the one thing I want more than anything in this world is the one thing I’m no good at. It scared the crap out of me.
To love and to be loved is an amazing feeling but I’ve had enough experience to know that, for me, it generally doesn’t work out. I’m everyone’s best friend but, on the inside, I’m always waiting for that inevitable moment when they decide to just get up and walk away. That’s how it’s always been. I try not to show it or to let it affect my interactions with people. I’m not clingy or standoffish, for example. I’ve found that it’s just better to go with the flow. Let the pieces fall as they will and enjoy what time I have, but I think that somehow it must show anyway. I believe that off-times it’s the fear itself that lends to the end result.
Life has taught me how to love unconditionally and when the time is right, to walk away despite that fact. It has taught me to walk around with my head in the clouds and, at the same time, to keep my feet planted firmly on the ground. I’ve learned that while my life may not always be fair, neither is the next guy’s. I have learned to take people and events as they come. Above all else, I’ve learned that while you may not be able to control the world around you, only you can control the way you perceive the world and the lessons you take from it. Sometimes all it takes to turn a bad situation good is a little ingenuity and imagination. Sometimes, all that can be done is to deal with whatever circumstances you find yourself mixed into; to come to terms with them; to learn from them and to move on. I don’t know, as I said, I’m different. I’m at a point in my life where I’m OK with that. I’m comfortable with who I am. Confident in being myself. That’s all I know how to be anymore. Just…me.
I will never lie to you. I promise you that everything I share between these covers will be the truth as I see it, the events as I remember them. But I cannot hand you the world my friends, only the world as I see it. In the end, only you can decide what to take from it.
November 6th, 2007

Submitted on 2007-12-09 20:06:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  "Sometimes, all that can be done is to deal with whatever circumstances you find yourself mixed into; to come to terms with them; to learn from them and to move on." Boy I can relate to that, especially this year. You do an okay job here and I like the style of this, but it comes across as more of a personal essay about what you believe than a memoir. You do an awful lof of telling here rather than showing. I always think it's more interesting to give examples than explanations. Keep going with this. You've got an excellent basis for a good book here.

Keep writing.

Peace, love and all that other junk,
| Posted on 2007-12-18 00:00:00 | by joeyalphabet | [ Reply to This ]
  Wow I really like your style, plus I agree on so many points and feel very similar.

"Life has taught me how to love unconditionally and when the time is right, to walk away despite that fact. It has taught me to walk around with my head in the clouds and, at the same time, to keep my feet planted firmly on the ground."

Seriously, I love this.
Thank you for the awarm welcome too
| Posted on 2007-12-10 00:00:00 | by Instep | [ Reply to This ]

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