Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Awakeningdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Syndl
    ASL Info:    28/F/NC
    Elite Ratio:    5.02 - 56/55/19
    Words: 178
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1063
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 995



    Description:
       Sadly, this was the release of something I had bottled up for a long time. As much as I am 'over' it, it remains a part of me. This was the -very- first piece of poetry I ever wrote and it just... well, it just kinda fell out of me. I was surprised to say the least. Ever since I've been working on my writing. I suppose in some way, I am grateful for this piece. In many more ways than one.



    -Syndl


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAwakeningdots
    -------------------------------------------


    You were there to love
    You were there to guide,
    You were there to help,
    You were there to be kind.

    You weren't there to hurt,
    You weren't there to shame,
    Innocence was lost..
    And you are all to blame.

    I remember the night,
    The age of a babe...
    When innocence was lost,
    My thoughts were too numb to claim.

    I was only a child,
    Too young for these tears.
    You crossed the line,
    And all my eyes saw were fear.

    In the dark of the night,
    You approached with stealth.
    I cringed with fright,
    And pain was all I was dealt.

    I live life from day to day,
    And peace is all I seek.
    Your hands touched their prey,
    The scent of fear it did reak.

    I stayed silent in fear.
    Too still to cry.
    A single tear
    Escaped from my eye





    Submitted on 2004-06-25 10:37:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Syndl. My deepest sympathy for your experience. and my full admiration that you could share this with us. For your first write, this was beautiful. You portrayed your feelings brilliantly. It is so true that writing truely helps, maybe sometimes better than speaking to someone.
    | Posted on 2004-06-26 00:00:00 | by Broken | [ Reply to This ]
      That was awesome. I loved it. Really good. I think I can figure what this is about. Great Job for a first poem. Awesome! Now they want me to keep writing so I can fill this up with other comments.
    | Posted on 2004-06-25 00:00:00 | by jlpurvis2001 | [ Reply to This ]
      you can never really get completely "over" that type of thing, it stays with you forever. i know. keep writing, it does wonders. it does take a lot of courage to share on that subject, i am not as brave as you, but you have inspired me to shine a little light in my box of dark secrets. beautiful poem.
    Star
    | Posted on 2004-06-25 00:00:00 | by shootingstar | [ Reply to This ]
      So sad, and I am always amazed at the strength a writer has to share this type of experience instead of keeping it private. Much respect, and I hope it helps to bring you some peace,
    Dave
    | Posted on 2004-06-25 00:00:00 | by Sandburg | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    15421

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    The World written by jjd
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    Records I written by Raphael
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    prison written by ShyOne
    Angel Eyes written by poetotoe
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Dream written by closetpoet
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Love written by saartha
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Etiquette written by saartha
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry