I like the paradoxical theme to this, the fact is a person opens up their heart, often they get hurt, but hell as you adequetely put it, comes from the torment of keeping it shut not letting anyone in. You know, it's hard to "act", sometimes, but I still perform, On the stage I call life, While in my heart, there is a storm.
To speak in line with what my woo-man is saying, God (whether with wings, a top hat or a green face) does close doors. But he also, instead of opening another one, usually opens windows. It's harder to reach but, who's to say that you can't grow a tree, build a ladde or evolve yourself to a healthy pair of wings. Yes, yes?
Personally though, I like the analogy of heaven being put in the heart and hell being put in the mind. It's a very optimistic way to look at it; as if saying that it is easier to do good than it is to do - need I say - evil.
Anyway, I also agree with my wife in the sense that the formatting needs a little work. I think that it being 4 lines per stanza is too clean and too mechanical for something that speaks too much from the heart. It's too good to be deny the drama of free formatting.
change is never as sure as it ought to be.
when god closes a door another opens?
i like this.
im not sure it needs to be 2 stanzas the way you have it though. id either have each thought its own two lines or perhaps have the first three together and the closing question set apart?
and you call this piece shellfish why?
rock shut with something precious inside?
short,sweet, with the eternal question,"If I change will things change around me?" No one knows until the chance is taken then the chance becomes a second nature.
thnaks for feeding me some food for thought.
Submission Name: Shellfish
Yes, yes?