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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: A Single Backward Glance dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: milo stills
    Elite Ratio:    3.37 - 345/476/138
    Words: 220
    Class/Type: Poetry/Satire
    Total Views: 960
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1338



    Description:
       simply... i was head trippin


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA Single Backward Glance dots
    -------------------------------------------


    as you walk away i begin to hulcinate
    possibly i say this out loud
    becuase you looking at me strangly
    with pity, your sympathy is killing me

    tidal waves of sound
    sprails of color
    i taste blood at
    the back of my throat
    and i swallow hard

    your small tight body
    seems suddenly bone thin
    your skin bleaced white
    just like your hair

    it starts raining
    a cool mist at first
    calms my shaking nerves

    then with out warning
    reality takes a new shape

    wreacked cars,
    old cell phones,
    conputer consels and
    ipod mini's

    just bits and peices
    things you might have lost
    forgotten, or just thrown away

    toasters
    and microwaves
    rubbery purple dildos
    condom wrapers
    mostly gold magumns
    but a few are labled twisted pleasure

    garbage from a million years ago
    an age of desire
    starts falling like rain down around us

    what i see falling keeps comnig
    you dont seem to notice

    you head is a pale skull

    as you smile and look back just one time
    waving and turning your head..




    Submitted on 2007-12-10 19:00:50     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Finish it out. Let's see the end, you know I likeit.
    | Posted on 2007-12-16 00:00:00 | by reid kat | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this until the dildo part and the condom part, it would of sounded better without it, but if that's all that remains of your relationship then perhaps just leave out the toaster and microwave from that section would make it sound better. But it sounds like from this poem that you just feel like another piece of trash that she threw out. Its sad and sounds like a bad trip, but I can't say I have ever tipped, so what good am I at guessing.
    | Posted on 2007-12-11 00:00:00 | by kcasey | [ Reply to This ]
      It's no good when all that's left is the sex..the sex. i understand from this that a relationship has gone sour or is sour but either one is willing to speak. giving only nasty looks. or it could be some [censored] who is just staring and you don't like it..either way it was good, except for the halucination part...explain it to me please.~Damien vladimir09
    | Posted on 2007-12-11 00:00:00 | by Damien Vladimir | [ Reply to This ]


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