Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: All I Want for Christmasdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Peggy Paris
    ASL Info:    61/F/USA
    Elite Ratio:    4.11 - 747/570/167
    Words: 154
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1080
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1025



    Description:
       I just wrote this one for a "Fruitcake---Pro or Con" challenge on another site but thought it might be a fun, seasonal read here as well. Happy holidays to all and thanks for reading!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAll I Want for Christmasdots
    -------------------------------------------


    You asked if I like fruitcake, dear?
    Let me make my feelings clear!

    You can ship all sorts of things:
    Clothes and books and fancy rings,
    Lovely gifts and tasty brews,
    Paperweights and crafty glues.
    Just donít send a brick by mail
    For, you see, Iím rather frail.

    Glass is fragile and it breaks;
    Batterís messy if not baked.
    Brandyís fine and so is cheese;
    Honeyís greatÖwithout the bees.
    Pecan patties sure taste fine
    Topped off with a bit of wine.
    Chocolate, both dark and sweet,
    Seems a very special treat.
    Chewy caramelís delight
    Makes the scale my weighty plight.

    You can glaze my eyes with tears,
    Soothe my aches, and quell my fears.
    Send me kisses on demand;
    Iím molasses in your hands.
    Bring your loviní; save your cash
    Iíll be ready in a flash.

    Fruitcake that I seem to be,
    Love is all you need send me.




    Submitted on 2007-12-10 21:57:51     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      What a wonderful delightful read Sharon, The last two lines really did it for me, cause I've aften thought that just Love for Christmas is indeed the best gift anyone could give another,I really enjoyed this write,well put in it in my fav, thanks for the read
    adnil
    | Posted on 2007-12-12 00:00:00 | by adnil | [ Reply to This ]
      I really love Christmas, and I love all things around and about it. But what I like the most over the holiday season is to be with my family and the ones I love, I will trade all presents and good food for a day with my loved
    ones.
    There is only one thing I do not like in the poem and it is the word "Molasses". Although it fits perfectly in context, it slows the poem down too much, I think its because there are three syllables in the word, it breaks the flow. You might have done this on purpose as well to show the stickiness and the slow movements it makes.

    Other than that, I loved your poem.
    You do such good work
    | Posted on 2007-12-11 00:00:00 | by Polydectes | [ Reply to This ]
      What a delightful, fun Christmas poem! Gets the ole Christmas Spirit going! This was great, Sharon!
    | Posted on 2007-12-10 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    154237

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry