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    dots Submission Name: Alight dots

    Author: Polydectes
    ASL Info:    29/m/South Africa
    Elite Ratio:    7.84 - 154/85/38
    Words: 46
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 867
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 171


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    dotsAlight dots

    The coal split expectantly
    Invitingly showing the glow inside
    Beside the fire yearn and lick
    Tongues linger, burning desire

    Submitted on 2007-12-11 02:30:58     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    1: >_<
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    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      To me, this is like a shot at passion; or anything that could serve as a solid representation for it. It brings the best out of you. It makes you open up and lets all that fire in you shine beautifully. But it also wears you out. It drains you of your time, your energy. Ultimately, I think that the real question is, which do you want the most, a short life of great fury; or a long existance?

    I'm glad you could squeeze so much in four lines. I think that it really takes great skill to do something like that. I think that even the best poets would write their pieces short if their topics could accomodate it because they understand in the principle of balance. They know that it is possible to over-kill a certain idea or over-cook a certain concept. They know how much long winding pieces can ruin the best things that only belong in small packages. I also think that they know better than to simply revolve around the philosophy of showmanship.

    Personally, I think that you showcased all those characteristics by giving this short-but-healthy exercise of the human senses.


    Good job.
    | Posted on 2007-12-11 00:00:00 | by ANGELO | [ Reply to This ]
      Wonderful observation skills on one hand and a tantalizing metaphor on the other! I appreciate short poems even more because I'm not good at writing them myself. :-) Sharon
    | Posted on 2007-12-11 00:00:00 | by Peggy Paris | [ Reply to This ]

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