[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Miserydots

    Author: Jakirina
    ASL Info:    19/F/WI
    Elite Ratio:    3.69 - 216/200/80
    Words: 345
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 515
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 2242

       Another Triple Sonnet. Woo!

    Don't read if you can't handle anything dark.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


         you have me upon my knees,
    palms heavy and cold against sterile ground.
    Your crystalline fingers caress and tease
    the frigid skin behind my grey neck, bound
    to respond only to you. Your fleshless
    digits trail ice to the base of my spine,
    lingering there, telling me I possess
    no part in this game. Your tongue, divine
    and calloused, plasters along the side of
    my throat and slowly down my lower back.
    I tremble, hands lily-blue, aware my love
    is only illusion as is this lack
    of weight upon my arms and legs. I barely
    feel you hold me up, hand spanning my belly.

         you pull me towards you, I obey,
    flowing with your rhythm. I watch my spirit
    cloud and billow through my breath as you flay
    me from behind, moving erratically, spit
    dripping between my shoulders. Your right fist
    becomes a dagger, thrusting against my
    hip and side; an odd pain that won’t desist
    inside, yet I cannot feel upon my
    flesh. Thigh and ribs swell with warm pulsing
    color, yet your left hand stables my core. You stop
    my collapse. You’re not done. Nails fitting
    deep into my stomach, blunt teeth drop
    into my shoulder. Yet my delusion
    of ardor keeps me from dissolution.

         my elbows crumble, chipping
    like frost, my face would have shattered had your
    daggered hand not been there, quickly winding
    into my hair. But it was too much, for
    my right side fell and your nails came away
    with flesh trailing beneath them. My chest hit
    heavily, forcing my last spirit to stray
    in a torrent of frightened smoke. Yet it
    did not deter your lust only heightened
    your finale. A pounding darkness played
    behind my eyes as you came to your end
    and released me. I could feel myself fade
    from your interest, I was your broken toy.
    Your fleshless face clicked its black teeth: Good boy.

    Submitted on 2007-12-11 16:39:36     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I was enticed by your miraculous words.

    Yet I had a feeling that you had been imagining the misery, not as though you really were sad, or more of a feeling of it being more of an empty loneliness.

    Overall I felt the sadness streaming, line after line.

    Very good, yet saddening.
    | Posted on 2007-12-12 00:00:00 | by Teriyaki | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Linger written by saartha
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Incubus written by monad
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Giving written by jjd
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    This written by Chelebel
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]