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Author: Inkybro
ASL Info:    17/M/Oklahoma
Elite Ratio:    3.33 - 55 /69 /39
Words: 52
Class/Type: Poetry /Love
Total Views: 989
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 381



After much debate
And months of calculation
And years of equations
It's been decided:
You are living proof
That beauty transcends looks
And extends far beyond the reach
Of any pair of eyes
And no textbook or white-coat
Can explain this chemistry
Extending far beyond the reach
Of any kind of science

Submitted on 2007-12-11 21:24:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  This is lovely. I like the minimalism in this because there's no need to make writing verbose or complicated especially if it expresses such a simple thought. Anyway, with my penchant for minimalism, this won't be a long comment. The only thing I can think to criticise is that I might have said "the reach," but that is your call.
| Posted on 2007-12-12 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]
  You have touched the unexplainable with "beauty transcends looks And extends far beyond reach Of any pair of eyes" and captured your own personal "living proof." By the way, she's a lucky girl. Very good work! :-) Sharon
| Posted on 2007-12-12 00:00:00 | by Peggy Paris | [ Reply to This ]
  Short and sweet. A moment tumbling by.
Whoever this mysterious girl is, she's lucky, you've got a way with words that needs just a few lines to be eloquent.

The natural rhythm of the poem, how you broke each line I'm envious of. I always have such trouble and it comes so natural in this piece.

I would hate to ruin such a beautiful piece, but what if you had to extend it? What would you say?
| Posted on 2007-12-12 00:00:00 | by AlmostEloquent | [ Reply to This ]

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