Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • ES Magazine
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • Video Tutorials
  • RolePlay
  • 90% off Amazon
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Betrayaldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: oph97
    ASL Info:    39/M/MI
    Elite Ratio:    0.52 - 0/1/1
    Words: 103
    Class/Type: Poetry/Venting
    Total Views: 638
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 597



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBetrayaldots
    -------------------------------------------


    Death should be yours.
    Hell has your name.
    You stole my life for your gain.

    Betrayal is your sin leaving me to him.
    You failed to protect me, loving him anyway.
    Away you would go, knowing what is true.
    Making excuses for him and you too.
    Night after night, the evil would come to play.

    Blind as bat on a sunny day, you gave me no chance to get away.
    You let him have his way, as you loved him again today.
    Your game or his, who can say, but you should have died,
    when innocence was lost that day.




    Submitted on 2007-12-12 06:56:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I can feel that there is a lot behind this, even though its somewhat obscure. but obscurity in this case is probably a good thing.
    its just an idea, but I think this could be sharper, and edgier. perhaps if it rhymed, it might give it that devastating 'click'. but just a thought, and I did think this was good!
    | Posted on 2007-12-12 00:00:00 | by marigold | [ Reply to This ]



    Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
    5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

    [ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

    Google
     

    [ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
    [ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .
    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry
    This user has been inactive for more than 5 days.