Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Bang Bangdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: juss_kriss
    ASL Info:    23/F/Canada
    Elite Ratio:    3.87 - 404/445/126
    Words: 209
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Society
    Total Views: 689
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1387



    Description:
       lets see if you can figure it out


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBang Bangdots
    -------------------------------------------


    v1.
    cruel
    it's the world we live in
    the world we die in
    the world we cry in
    over and over again
    understanding
    is what this world could never be
    because of them
    the ones who make up this society
    that lives in never ending fears

    pre-c.
    my friend you were left
    broken and bloody
    left dying in need
    as you leaned your head
    on those who couldn't walk away
    and turn the other cheek

    c.
    bang bang
    no time for goodbye
    they wouldn't let him
    they wouldn't let him
    he left his past
    to find a future
    but in the end it came back and bit her
    they couldn't let her live
    they couldn't let her live
    ... bang bang

    v2.
    candles
    lit in the dark of the night
    lit as we remember
    lit as we cry for you
    and for all of the others
    remembering
    is how i can keep you, no goodbye
    there wasn't time
    they ripped you away, this world contains
    no respect for those who are different

    pre-c. & c.

    b.
    she was my best friend
    he was a good man
    she was a good person
    he was my best friend
    (repeat until fade)





    Submitted on 2007-12-12 22:38:08     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    154337

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Live In Between written by teika5
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    Rooted in Nature written by Chelebel
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry