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Rough Sex.

Author: SlanderousLust
ASL Info:    21/Q/Four inches from you
Elite Ratio:    5.15 - 89 /137 /74
Words: 176
Class/Type: Poetry /Dark
Total Views: 1985
Average Vote:    5.0000
Bytes: 1147



Rough Sex.

She's a drop of gasoline in my eye,
a bit of sand in my vocal chords.
She's a pinch of salt under my scabs,
a showgirl, a sinner, a plaything.

I'm a thorn under her tongue,
a hammer to her kneecap,
I'm a razor cut to her eye lid,
a loser, a lover, a fraud.

It'll please her to want me,
and please me see her fail.
Love would fill her with joy,
but I'll just fill her with fluid.

Once more, I'll ask,
Can I play with your insides?
Once more, she'll ask.
Can I play with your head?
Once more, I'll ask,
Can I play on your feelings?
Once more, She'll ask,
Can I play on your bed?

She is fortitude. She is solitude,
a medication that makes me vomit,
She's rough sex,
a princess, a piece, a slut.

I am invasion. I am destruction,
I'm the smell of fuel that brings her back,
I'm rough sex,
a prince, a partner, a tool.

Submitted on 2007-12-13 00:58:08     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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and very, very good.

c'est ca.
| Posted on 2007-12-17 00:00:00 | by freeradical | [ Reply to This ]

I'm not even sure what to say about this.

Of course you know by now that the imagery is vivid and the language you use is just so...perfect?

Yes, I think that fits well.

"Love would fill her with joy,
but I'll just fill her with fluid"

My reaction: "damn"

and I actually said that outloud after I read that gaining the stares of those around me.

well done. very well done.

| Posted on 2007-12-17 00:00:00 | by Dimension_X | [ Reply to This ]
I don't think I can ever write that way and make it have that kind of resonance. I might as well just give up now.
I loved the way this felt in my head, like it was forcing its way into me, pushing and pressing and not backing down. A lover that just won't stop. And you don't really want them to stop until you are screaming in pain instead of pleasure. You're words are dripping with this barely contained emotion that stains every sentence, every phrase with this feeling of unworthiness for your love, your attention.
You put up this image of this woman and I can see her clearly, full peachy lips pulled tight, her cheeks hard, face turned away so that the light cast shadows over her face, her eyes like diamonds glinting and lighting on fire, cutting in to you with every glance.I both feel for her and hate her, despire how she seems to be in this piece.
And it's almost like you know this, like you know she is coldm and, horrbile despite this killin beauty she has, and that she isn't as wonderful as hse once seemed, but you still think your self to be beneath her, not worth y of her. There is a sense of self loathing as well as spite and anger here.

"She is fortitude. She is solitude,
a medication that makes me vomit,"
seems to just ooze these feelings for her

And at the end its almost like the rest of it made you weary, that last line feels like it was half ripped from you, right before you gave up, and out.

Amazing piece of work here, a piece worth both envy and publication.
I enjoyed this quite a bit and hope to read more from you soon

| Posted on 2007-12-14 00:00:00 | by blu_kittin | [ Reply to This ]
  You are amazing.
If I could marry a poem, this would be it. (Yeah, that didn't sound creepy until I typed it. haha.)

I don't even know how to comment on this one... The description/imagery is fantastic and repulsive. I love it.
Nothing I can say would even be close to the compliments you deserve, so I'm just gonna add it to my favorites and be on my way.

It made my evening perfect.

| Posted on 2007-12-13 00:00:00 | by Razor2TheRosary | [ Reply to This ]
Though this isnt the normal kind of write I would normally read
I have got to admit you did a fantastic job at putting this together
I see no flaws at all in this write and this flows exceptionally well
Congrats on a very creative and well put together write
God Bless

Please keep in touch!!!
| Posted on 2007-12-13 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]

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