Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Pieces of Lifedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Peggy Paris
    ASL Info:    61/F/USA
    Elite Ratio:    4.11 - 747/570/167
    Words: 222
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nostalgia
    Total Views: 1305
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1488



    Description:
       Due to the short line length allowed on this site, I am unable to display this poem as I wrote it (in fourteen-syllable lines, six lines to a stanza). I broke it into 8,6,8,6 so that the lines would not run over awkwardly.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPieces of Lifedots
    -------------------------------------------



    Her quilt of mismatched colors lay
    atop that old brass bed
    where dreams had churned a thousand times
    within her resting head.
    She'd pieced together remnants from
    her daughters' outgrown clothes
    and added pieces here and there
    from fabrics she once chose.
    No pattern did seem evident;
    perhaps, there was none meant.
    Her quilt had mapped the life she'd led,
    and that was her intent.

    Her joys of childhood lent pastels
    encircling the core;
    but black of fear was sewn around
    for tragedy of war.
    With red, she'd laid her anger down
    to place its mark on time
    but tempered still her attitude
    with blue's own hopeful climb.
    Life's seasons passed from green to gold,
    and she marked every one
    while never leaving out the tones
    to show the shining sun.

    In little circles, years were kept,
    both births and deaths alike;
    her days lay clustered, ever joined
    by paths of life she'd hiked.
    No matter that her time to leave
    had ticked beyond life's clock,
    her children knew their mother smiled
    through each and ev'ry block.
    They stood around and touched once more
    the memories she'd shared;
    though not an eye was clear or dry,
    they smiled through death's despair.




    Submitted on 2007-12-13 18:24:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Golly, how this wonderful poem took me back in time. How well I remember the patchwork quilts that were common in the rural area that I grew up. Thanks for the memories, and for this nostalgic and very beautiful poem!
    | Posted on 2007-12-15 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]
      An excellent form and rhyming scheme. The quilting metaphor worked very well to sew the patterns in her life together. You kept us in stitches the entire write.

    Well done.
    | Posted on 2007-12-14 00:00:00 | by The Gadfly | [ Reply to This ]
       What wonderful imagery flows through my mind as I read your work. Evry thought flows so nicely, I wish there was feedback I could give other than compliment, but this truly is a flawless piece. Thank you so much for writing :)
    | Posted on 2007-12-13 00:00:00 | by metallichick786 | [ Reply to This ]
      This is indeed a very beauitful piece Sharon, though it speaks of saddness there is a wonderful kind of almost joy to it as well, for a life well lived an the love of children, again one of my fav, for I have a patch quilt made by my gran, an always it brings me memories of the love we shared through the years, keep up the good write, I really love reading your piece's
    adnil
    | Posted on 2007-12-13 00:00:00 | by adnil | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    154380

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry