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    dots Submission Name: My truths died as Liesdots

    Author: Mandolin
    ASL Info:    10/15/89
    Elite Ratio:    5.4 - 131/145/85
    Words: 84
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 852
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 542

       Truths you can never seem to get out, and abandon, and when the closest you manage can finally be vomited from you - it's something else, not what you're dying with the need of saying.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMy truths died as Liesdots

    All the words I want to say
    fall down the back of my throat
    slipping like little black pearls
    to lay like hungry stones within my bowels
    and when my tongue attempts to speak
    crab-like monsters scuttle
    moving upward hungrily
    and finally dying as they choke me
    I can say nothing still
    and at last the acidic orange liquid of truth
    pours easily from the vase of my esophagus
    to lacerate my lips, my pride,
    in smooth sliding syrups that evolved into lies

    Submitted on 2007-12-14 19:32:44     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      you remind me of neruda.

    or layton.

    or bukowski.

    or maybe all three. they're my very very favourites, the ones i save only for myself. the ones i will never read to anyone.

    i think you're one of my favourites too.

    it's lick every last drop of it up delicious.
    | Posted on 2007-12-16 00:00:00 | by freeradical | [ Reply to This ]
      I can relate in a sense that, I never say anything whenever I get irritated by something. These small things usually build up inside me to unmanageable in levels and ends up exploding over something completely unrelated to the real reason why I was upset. I ruin more relationships that way.

    I totally feel that it is unadvisable to "cat" your "tiger's" heart whenever you feel angry because your pride won't let those issues die.

    But then again, perhaps that's just me. And perhaps this is completely unrelated.

    Anyway, the piece was solid. I like its propensity for bending reality and I slightly admired how much of it you chose to use.

    Overall, I think that the concept is what gives this piece strength.
    | Posted on 2007-12-15 00:00:00 | by ANGELO | [ Reply to This ]

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