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    dots Submission Name: Lament of Orpheus (2)dots

    Author: marigold
    Elite Ratio:    3.08 - 182/203/89
    Words: 157
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1249
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1127


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    dotsLament of Orpheus (2)dots

    My friends have all deserted me
    to beasts I must now cry,
    and call out to the heedless wind-
    "such beauty cannot die!"

    Oh trees! take pity on my grief
    for solace you can't give,
    what breeze whispers amid the rain-
    "such beauty cannot live..."

    No horror dark, no sorrow great
    is stranger to my ear,
    but now be silent! what you spoke
    I can't, and will not hear!

    Why do you laugh you foolish winds?
    "sweet mortal fugitive,
    with all your wisdom can't you see
    some things one cannot say and live."

    "what mean you, speak!" I cried to them
    they whirled 'round my head
    "to those who hear, her eyes spoke much
    too much, and thus she's dead."

    I summoned all my strength and spoke
    "winds great and small, you lie!
    against the rising night I'll shout-
    such beauty cannot die!"

    Submitted on 2007-12-15 13:27:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This is delightful! It is perfect in structure and rhyme, and the rythmn is excellent! Orpheus, player of the Lyre and poet! This is a fitting tribute to the ancient poet and Lyricist!
    | Posted on 2007-12-16 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]
      I like that this poem is wellwritten. I found no typos, the rhyme did not feel forced, though some word choices could have been better. Overall, this was good. I would like to see you post on Ophelia.
    | Posted on 2007-12-16 00:00:00 | by brokenmuse | [ Reply to This ]

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    January 10 07
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