always we fly, in rage and lust alike -------------------------------------------
I held my breath
as I bloodied my face
with his remnants
the copper garnet sliding
like warm tears
down the flushed ivory
of my cheeks
then I screamed into the wind
howling wordless inarticulate echoes
of savage loss and agony
the cool blade extended
from his unmoving torso
brilliant carmine flowers made
macabre bouquets in the feeble snowdrift
as his blood froze
upon my savage cheek
This was fantastic!
Your imagery was vivid and it flowed really well.
Every single word you use has a place; there is nothing missing, nothing that doesn't absolutely need to be there. I araely find this is works.