Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: How can you be so blind?dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Specialme
    ASL Info:    17 / female / Australia
    Elite Ratio:    3.27 - 8/11/7
    Words: 179
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 796
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1078



    Description:
       again just my thoughts, i was real upset and just wrote stuff down, ill edit it one day and add some similes and that and make it into a proper poem but at the moment its just like this
    please comment thanxs


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHow can you be so blind?dots
    -------------------------------------------


    How can you be so blind
    As not to see what you
    are doing to her
    everyday you make her life worse
    with all your remarks and put downs
    you make her think shes worthless
    because of you she wants to die
    shes sick of crying
    sick of everything
    wants it all to end
    and she thought that you of all
    people would care about her
    shes your child
    how can you be so blind
    as not to see
    this child who used to be so happy and hyper
    is now depressed and confused
    this child that used to listen to pop
    now listens to heavy rock and emo
    this child that used to never stop eating
    now hardly eats and has lost heaps of weight
    this child thought she was loved
    now thinks no one cares about her
    even though her friends do
    she thinks she doesnt deserve what she has
    and that she has destroyed her life
    this child shes your daughter
    stop being so blind
    and look at what
    you are doing
    to her




    Submitted on 2007-12-15 22:55:47     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      this is good, but quite sad.... i know what you are going through. growing up my father beat my sister and i, now i cant stand him
    | Posted on 2008-06-10 00:00:00 | by lyonhart08 | [ Reply to This ]
      It's a very sad piece.. I've known far to many people that were once that child.. It is definately upsetting to think about. The pain could be felt with each word.
    Good wirte.
    | Posted on 2007-12-16 00:00:00 | by Katlord | [ Reply to This ]
      This piece is very sad and heartbreaking. This makes me think of how cruel the world can be when someone puts you down and makes you feel like you are worthless. And the whole thing with that is why do people do this to others if they don't want it in return. It made me feel sad because I know someone who is really close to me that is like that and everytime I see her it tears me apart. This was an emotional piece and I could feel the person's pain that you were writiting about.

    Good write and keep it up

    Poet09
    | Posted on 2007-12-16 00:00:00 | by poet09 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    154462

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry