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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: vampiredots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: pyroskull
    ASL Info:    14/f/cali
    Elite Ratio:    2.7 - 150/213/70
    Words: 127
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1493
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 791



    Description:
       something i wrote. it doesnt really mean anything.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsvampiredots
    -------------------------------------------


    my skin is milky white
    my hair is dark as the storm
    my lips dont touch
    anything that is warm

    im a gothic little girl
    who hates all the living
    and is in love with the dead.
    im a gothic child
    i feast on the blood
    i love the feeling that i get
    as i drink with no regret.

    i love to scare the normals
    watch them as they run and scream
    i love to kill
    anything that breaths.
    i love the taste of blood
    as it turns cold
    i love the feeling i get
    of my murders that go untold.

    im a vampire girl
    who loves to drink
    anything with a heartbeat.
    im a nightmare
    to everything that breaths
    and everything that bleeds.




    Submitted on 2004-06-25 16:00:54     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Very creepy, original, and good. Just a side note... I think its suppose to be "breathes" ^.^ I think, check it to be sure. Uhm thats about all I saw that was wrong with it...
    To make it great though... it might need a little work... (this is just my opinion, no offense meant, ignore it if you choose). Add more detail and emotion to it... It seemed sorta blah at first when I read it.
    -Alli
    | Posted on 2004-06-25 00:00:00 | by Childoutspoken | [ Reply to This ]
      I have gothic friends and this reminds me of them. I like this poem. It's really dark and s little creepy but thats what makes it cool. It's original, i don't think i read anything like it. It's going on my fav list. good write!
    Jan,
    | Posted on 2004-06-25 00:00:00 | by Jan | [ Reply to This ]
      LOVE IT! VAMPIRES RULE! PLEASE SIRE ME! i think you should remove, or alther the lines "and is in love with the dead." "im a gothic child" and "and everything that bleeds.". they dont seem to fit, and "im a gothic girl" is redundant since u say so ant the top of the verse. i think it would make a good emo screamo song, you know, 2 vocals one male or female with a high pitched emotion filled voice, and another with a raw hate filled scream.
    | Posted on 2004-06-25 00:00:00 | by SHEslaysME | [ Reply to This ]


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