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    dots Submission Name: vampiredots

    Author: pyroskull
    ASL Info:    14/f/cali
    Elite Ratio:    2.7 - 150/213/70
    Words: 127
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1493
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 791

       something i wrote. it doesnt really mean anything.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    my skin is milky white
    my hair is dark as the storm
    my lips dont touch
    anything that is warm

    im a gothic little girl
    who hates all the living
    and is in love with the dead.
    im a gothic child
    i feast on the blood
    i love the feeling that i get
    as i drink with no regret.

    i love to scare the normals
    watch them as they run and scream
    i love to kill
    anything that breaths.
    i love the taste of blood
    as it turns cold
    i love the feeling i get
    of my murders that go untold.

    im a vampire girl
    who loves to drink
    anything with a heartbeat.
    im a nightmare
    to everything that breaths
    and everything that bleeds.

    Submitted on 2004-06-25 16:00:54     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Very creepy, original, and good. Just a side note... I think its suppose to be "breathes" ^.^ I think, check it to be sure. Uhm thats about all I saw that was wrong with it...
    To make it great though... it might need a little work... (this is just my opinion, no offense meant, ignore it if you choose). Add more detail and emotion to it... It seemed sorta blah at first when I read it.
    | Posted on 2004-06-25 00:00:00 | by Childoutspoken | [ Reply to This ]
      I have gothic friends and this reminds me of them. I like this poem. It's really dark and s little creepy but thats what makes it cool. It's original, i don't think i read anything like it. It's going on my fav list. good write!
    | Posted on 2004-06-25 00:00:00 | by Jan | [ Reply to This ]
      LOVE IT! VAMPIRES RULE! PLEASE SIRE ME! i think you should remove, or alther the lines "and is in love with the dead." "im a gothic child" and "and everything that bleeds.". they dont seem to fit, and "im a gothic girl" is redundant since u say so ant the top of the verse. i think it would make a good emo screamo song, you know, 2 vocals one male or female with a high pitched emotion filled voice, and another with a raw hate filled scream.
    | Posted on 2004-06-25 00:00:00 | by SHEslaysME | [ Reply to This ]

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