Description: It's done like this:
http://winkieslol.ytmnd.com/
Winks lie here -------------------------------------------
red sprites cast against heaven
blue jets practiced unleven
such kings of fashon
now torn and ashen
would hide their mountain
within a fountain
such hearty delight
their points of light
break each new moon
to take the name loon
I read this differently than cheshirecat.
I believe you know exactly what you want to say in this poem; you just made a bit of a puzzle about it.
"Winks" in the title tells me its a fun puzzle...kinda joking.
I'm not sure what to make of the trio in disguise as far as your puzzle goes...but, the quick rhymes, ending line, and the image have me playing "I'm The Type of Guy". (old LL Cool J stuff)
I cant say I'm even close to figuring out the puzzle, but thats ok with me. I enjoyed the read and the brain tickle.
My favorite lines:
their points of light
break each new moon
to take the name loon
And I think you meant "kings of fashion" rather than "kings of fashon"?
Or is that a wink from the puzzle, too?
I'm left wondering...what are you trying to say? Don't let rhyme dictate your poem's content. And I guess that's a war cry or something at the end? As of now this poem isn't unified (which, I know, isn't always the goal), doesn't have a clear idea or even image, and isn't coherent un-unified as a ghazal would be.
My advice: figure out what you want to say. Say it in a fresh way. Try to make your rhymes unnoticeable- poetry is only "heightened talk", after all.
Submission Name: Winks lie here
