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    dots Submission Name: Winks lie heredots

    Author: Blue Monk
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 1556/457/118
    Words: 44
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1422
    Average Vote:    1.0000
    Bytes: 323

       It's done like this:

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWinks lie heredots

    red sprites cast against heaven
    blue jets practiced unleven
    such kings of fashon
    now torn and ashen
    would hide their mountain
    within a fountain
    such hearty delight
    their points of light
    break each new moon
    to take the name loon

    O-Ee-Yah! Eoh-Ah

    Submitted on 2007-12-18 19:15:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      i'm caught here, reverting back to tolkien's world

    "smash the dishes break the plates, that's what bilbo baggins hates"

    crazy fun under the moon...we should all turn into sprites....
    | Posted on 2011-04-17 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      Elephants, donkeys, Peggy Noonan, and a thousand points of light. And you get Dorthy and her team following the yellow brick road. Now If I could just find my Ruby slippers.
    | Posted on 2010-12-27 00:00:00 | by DaleP | [ Reply to This ]
      A superbly written poem, with a twist of fantasy and wizard of oz stuff.

    Poem keeps you right on the edge of your seat.

    Even though poem is short, it packs a great punch and expresses intricate levels of details.

    Indeed, I like the way you painted with words

    I think imagery is the most powerful tool to master in poetry writing.

    The words lift up from the page transporting the mind into other worlds

    Poem possesses solid imagery, voice and tone.

    I feel like I am living inside this sea of fantasy.

    Keep telling the truth with paper and pen.

    Remember, that a poem is like a schooner sailing the vast ocean, crashing through deep sky-blue waves
    | Posted on 2008-01-12 00:00:00 | by FireFly747 | [ Reply to This ]
      The brain tickle has become a brain tangle.

    I have been tripped up trying to link errors, winkies, and your words.

    I'll keep trying.
    | Posted on 2007-12-23 00:00:00 | by latentlylyrical | [ Reply to This ]
      I read this differently than cheshirecat.
    I believe you know exactly what you want to say in this poem; you just made a bit of a puzzle about it.
    "Winks" in the title tells me its a fun puzzle...kinda joking.
    I'm not sure what to make of the trio in disguise as far as your puzzle goes...but, the quick rhymes, ending line, and the image have me playing "I'm The Type of Guy". (old LL Cool J stuff)
    I cant say I'm even close to figuring out the puzzle, but thats ok with me. I enjoyed the read and the brain tickle.
    My favorite lines:

    their points of light
    break each new moon
    to take the name loon

    And I think you meant "kings of fashion" rather than "kings of fashon"?
    Or is that a wink from the puzzle, too?

    | Posted on 2007-12-19 00:00:00 | by latentlylyrical | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm left wondering...what are you trying to say? Don't let rhyme dictate your poem's content. And I guess that's a war cry or something at the end? As of now this poem isn't unified (which, I know, isn't always the goal), doesn't have a clear idea or even image, and isn't coherent un-unified as a ghazal would be.
    My advice: figure out what you want to say. Say it in a fresh way. Try to make your rhymes unnoticeable- poetry is only "heightened talk", after all.
    | Posted on 2007-12-18 00:00:00 | by cheshirecat0987 | [ Reply to This ]

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