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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Survival of a World Forbiddendots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: charmedidentity
    ASL Info:    20/F/Canada
    Elite Ratio:    7.32 - 794/762/298
    Words: 174
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 138
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1089



    Description:
       I can't describe this. I hope the reading will. Thanks


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSurvival of a World Forbiddendots
    -------------------------------------------


    Meet me in a place not to be seen
    Where our words are intertwined
    Only between my lips and yours
    Where our touches are permitted
    Only between your skin and mine
    Where our hearts are liberated
    From the aches of hiding our honesty
    Only for this brief moment, we find time.

    Meet me in a place never to be found
    By those who trust us with their hearts
    For our sins can never be compensated
    And our guilt will override us to failure.
    Our lives are twisted with concealment
    Though we realize the difficulty it causes
    The wheel of our love keeps on spinning
    Only for this brief moment, we find time.

    Meet me where reality ceases to exist
    Where time has stopped to please us
    Even if it’s not meant to be forever
    Where we could share all that’s unsaid
    By those who believe our distance is best
    Where we can create our mythical garden
    For the survival of a world forbidden
    Only for this brief moment, we find time.




    Submitted on 2007-12-19 12:39:41     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    1: >_<
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    ||| Comments |||
      You have a hard time describing this piece, while I, the reader, have a hard time describing what I liked about it! There is something, mystifying about this and I cannot identify what or why.

    The way I read it (my own interpretation of course) is very similar to a situation I am currently in, but of course I find it hard to put it down in writing so honest yet so covert. It's almost a contradiction. And I'm not going to say what I think it means because I don't want to [censored]ize your piece. Plus, I like to keep my own interpretations, my own. :)

    Anyway, moving on from my rambling. As I said before, it's a mysterious write. I don't know what it means to you but you wrote it beautifully and the structure made it very easy to follow. Your wording is brilliant and unique and I really liked that. I don't critique others writing, it's just a rule for me (although, I honestly don't find anything to critique).

    As you see, I found it difficult to find words. But I think you did a wonderful job and I really enjoyed it. I’m looking forward to more of your work.

    Still
    | Posted on 2007-12-20 00:00:00 | by StillimCold | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
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    3. How did it make you feel?
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    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



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