Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Bloody Lovedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Xena
    ASL Info:    17/F/Pluto
    Elite Ratio:    2.25 - 24/20/22
    Words: 238
    Class/Type: Poetry/Death
    Total Views: 578
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1199



    Description:
       I kinda wrote this in my sleep so tell me if ya like it


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBloody Lovedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Save me from this evil abyss which slowly consumes my soul. Only one man can save me. He brightens my days and nights. His eyes shine like the sun yet glow like the moon. His arms fall weak to my touch but come strong for my protection. His kisses so passionate his hugs so warming. As we walk together his hand glides into mine. If he hasn’t seen me for a day he acts as if he hasn’t seen me for a year. As my soul slowly sinks, I only think of him, of his last moments. His bloody hand upon my face trying to wipe thy tears. His eyes shone so brightly as he said his last words to me,” days come and go…. But… my... feelings…for……you….are…..fo…r...ev...er. He dies there in my arms; he died protecting me from a thief, a thief who had concealed a gun from sight. When he had stepped in front of me he was shot, still standing, he tried to shoot again but something backfired blinding him. After he died filled with grieve, anger, and evil thoughts I picked the gun up, pointing it at the man who had shot my beloved, I shot him in his heart. A heart he had broken, I felt no remorse I only heard one thing, it was the sound of the gun. I fell down onto the ground and died next to my shining star.




    Submitted on 2007-12-20 13:43:08     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      i really love how you incorperate song lyrics in your writings.
    | Posted on 2007-12-21 00:00:00 | by wordofsurrender | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    154707

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    The World written by jjd
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    Rooted in Nature written by Chelebel
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Beauty Rest written by jackz

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry