[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Forever As It Wasdots

    Author: skinnard
    ASL Info:    22 male New York
    Elite Ratio:    2.17 - 38/76/49
    Words: 154
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 961
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1062


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsForever As It Wasdots

    We told each other forever

    Time and time again

    But time only revealed

    That we were never even friends

    We had a vision for the future

    Paint a wonderous masterpiece

    But over time vision blurs

    Let the water clean the deceased

    Splash the canvas, let it drip

    Like the blood on your dress

    Which was planned to be white

    But is merely black and red

    Wash my blood from your hands

    Forever never stood a chance

    Forget about tomorrow

    As I drown in yesterday

    Indulge in the sorrow

    Watch me fade away

    Forever ever neverland

    As the fairytale began

    Into the depths of hell

    Continously wander this land

    As I lay here dying

    Reminisce about a lost cause

    Gave it all up for nothing

    Forever as it was

    Submitted on 2007-12-24 08:58:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      i loved it.beautiful..it touched my heart...i like the way u wrote it...very matured..very well composed...DO DO DO write more!!!
    | Posted on 2007-12-26 00:00:00 | by N0shin | [ Reply to This ]
      really really good rhyme scheme. all hail free verse. this was amazing i really liked how it flowed and you brought it all back to the point with the last line. in a word, un-[censored]in' believable.
    | Posted on 2007-12-25 00:00:00 | by dorianrydell | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]