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The Moon Peaks

Author: insphered soul
ASL Info:    19/M/ Hmmm?
Elite Ratio:    6.49 - 450 /382 /94
Words: 53
Class/Type: Poetry /Serious
Total Views: 1291
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 333


Just a little something.

The Moon Peaks

She sits there alone
on a dark road
shivers in every bone
doing what she was told

She looks around
but no ones there
not a sound
no one cares

No one looks for her
and as the moon peaks
she screams a slur
but no one hears her shrieks

Submitted on 2007-12-24 19:55:00     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
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  The imagery that comes to my mind after reading is a fearful silence in the darkness of the night.

What is left unanswered, or if i just don't get it is that:
"Doing what she was told"
-what was that supposed to mean, I would like to understand.

Nice idea, but still lacking.. it can still use more lines or more detail.

Maybe the emotion as this piece is being written is really sad and alone, I do hope the writer has found someone to be with now..:)

| Posted on 2007-12-25 00:00:00 | by zadhoevlhu13 | [ Reply to This ]
  forced rhyme with peaks and shrieks.

i dont like either of the two words, maybe a better pair would be more...fitting?

they make me feel hate :)
| Posted on 2007-12-24 00:00:00 | by GoKart Mozart | [ Reply to This ]

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