Description: When i go tfinish writing this I wasnt sure about the title so write now its either at the theater or the circus or anything you think about please give me ideas
-Peace
I dont really know where this came from just pop into my head so I typed it up hope you like it :D
At the Theater -------------------------------------------
This had a great sense of energy to it. I could ready see and feel the atmosphere which was bustled and hyped up on emotion.
I liked how you captured the different reactions people have from crying to fainting to screaming because after all people do react differently.
"One screams bloody murder
As his eyes see another"
If I've interpreted this bit correctly then that is truly a terrific two lines. From it I guess the man is watching a 'bloody murder' being performed on stage while he screams in 'bloody murder'.
If that's correct; terrific!
You can't really say this could be a theatre since it has a 'ringmaster' in it. However, I feel more taken with the idea of it being at the theatre (I visualize it being more Shakespearean than modern) than at a circus.
One little thing I noticed was that the last two stanza both have "fear" as the last word. Its as if you're trying to rhyme 'fear' with 'fear'. Even if you're not having them so close to one another doesn't read right.
I suggest getting rid of the idea of the ringmaster's fear. (or the ringmaster all together and making it the theatre in stead) After all, the ringmaster is the one who controls the show and so him being fearful doesn't seem to fit the poem.
Oh, I wouldn't worry too much about the title. It is good to have a good title, yes, but the poem its self should be the most impressive thing - and you're poem is pretty good.
Submission Name: At the Theater
