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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Alonedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Morsketch
    ASL Info:    21/F/TX
    Elite Ratio:    3.6 - 27/26/26
    Words: 192
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 717
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1358



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAlonedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Quiet voices from another room…
    Muffled sounds,
    Tiny scrapes,
    Covered tracks and hushed escapes,
    Secrets hidden in the walls,
    Ginger movements, silenced calls,
    Bangs and clangs from fragile things,
    Thousands of glorious ways to sing...

    Yells of brutal clawing brawls,
    Terrible quakes and violent falls,
    All reasons for some shock and awe,
    All reasons for a slack jaw maw,
    All reason to go run and see,
    What exciting events there may be…

    For raucous laughter so violent,
    Must be reason for some merriment,
    Or some other action long awaited,
    In this hollow tomb of anticipation,
    But nothing exciting happens here,
    This place is never filled with cheer,
    This place has never seen a fear,
    Except, perhaps, there have been tears…

    For there is no reason to go check,
    Down the hall, and on the deck,
    I know everything that happens there,
    What exists about this place to share,
    What noises do go haunt the night,
    What reasons there are for a fight,
    Why rattles are questioned,
    And tremors require mentioned
    Whispers to be known…

    It’s because, my dear,
    I am forever here,
    And at all times, alone.




    Submitted on 2007-12-26 11:47:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      i like the fairly abrupt ending to the poem, it contrasts nicely with the repetitive rhyming, which is also well done. each line to me seem like it is attacking the reader, and each line also reads very smoothly, good natrual flow. my only suggestion is in the second stanza... with the last line, i feel like the flow would be slightly improved and the meaning not lost if you remove "there" from the line.

    great write, keep it up.

    peace.Guermo
    | Posted on 2007-12-26 00:00:00 | by Guermo | [ Reply to This ]


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