Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Birds Have No Freedomdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: oononotthatguy
    ASL Info:    35 M Fernley ,Nv
    Elite Ratio:    5.14 - 48/15/15
    Words: 152
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nature
    Total Views: 1005
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 828



    Description:
       This peace I wrote to dispell the notion that
    "Birds are free"


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBirds Have No Freedomdots
    -------------------------------------------



    When I was young, I would often stare with shaky eyes onto the mountains; its valleys and cliffs. Ooh, how I often longed only to touch them, to have that which my heart longed for.

    One mourning the sky was bright red velvet that stretching from end to end. The air was clean and cold I jumped into the wind like an old pro. Liquid through my wingtips I could fly. I went to the hills I dove through the valleys, my heart pumped and I cried into the wind.

    CRACK< CRACK Noise rang off in the distance. Feathers flew about me and I was flung to the dirt.

    Looking up I watched the sky fade from red to black. The footsteps of a hunter off in the distance.

    Birds Have No Freedom.

    Joshua German









    Submitted on 2007-12-26 12:35:25     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      mmmmhhh

    it took me a minute but i get it now okay poem by the way at first it took my a second to tie the first piece with the last only because i was half reading it

    its a decent write in all not great not bad but decent but thats only me there was one spelling mistake instead of stare you wrote stair hey but we all make them

    okay the poem like i said i get it now and can kinda relate something youve been waiting for,for so long it finally comes along and right when it comes into your grasp its pulled away with a sharp yank in this case a sharp shot

    well thanks for the read

    -the girl who cried wolf to much

    p.s. i feel sorry for the bird -.-
    | Posted on 2007-12-27 00:00:00 | by BlueTorcher | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    154940

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    an unashamed poverty written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    untitled written by ShyOne
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Carry written by saartha
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    prison written by ShyOne
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Formal Jen written by Daniel Barlow
    a mood to be free written by Daniel Barlow
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Etiquette written by saartha
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    no words for how graceful you are in this moment written by Daniel Barlow

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry