Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: "Triplicity..."dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Drifting Star
    ASL Info:    19/F/Somewhere
    Elite Ratio:    2.02 - 22/101/73
    Words: 218
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 864
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1428



    Description:
       Okay, this is meant as a kinda ballad/poem thingy for a friend on WICKYPOP. It's okay though--just don't go reading TOO much into it. It's just a nice poem.

    Far From Elite,

    -Sennie.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots"Triplicity..."dots
    -------------------------------------------


    A thousand eyes watch and judge--
    whispers travel far;
    Something's just not right, they say--
    Something's not on par;
    But the secret is theirs alone to guard--
    a love that none can mar.

    Two whisked away behind stone walls--
    protected by the dark;
    Wrapped up in green and silver silk--
    the house from which they hark;
    Inked upon their skin so plain--
    that evil, shameful mark.

    The third is locked in a tower--
    A prison up so high;
    Sealed up in crimson and gold--
    nothing to do but sigh;
    She waits for the day when they come--
    though none know why.

    But the secret is theirs alone to guard--
    a love none can mar;
    And though she was locked away--
    their love, they could not bar;
    And when the knights came to her--
    they took her away and far.

    From there she prospered in their care--
    Content in their embrace;
    Clothed in green and silver silk--
    A smile upon her face;
    There she found such love and happiness--
    That no one could replace.

    The secret is theirs alone to guard--
    but you might find it, too;
    If you attain such a love--
    there's so much you might do;
    Simply take your heart into your hands--
    the rest is up to you.




    Submitted on 2007-12-27 02:51:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      im not the type to get all gushy and drool over poeples peotry but this was just that type of poem

    there were no mistakes except one i do believe when you say their 4th stanza 1st line shouldnt it be theirs instead of their

    but aside from that the poetry was perfect the fow smooth without no bumbs or stops in the road it could easily be the best thing ive read on this site so far

    -the girl who cried wolf to much
    | Posted on 2007-12-27 00:00:00 | by BlueTorcher | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    154981

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry