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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: No Peace In Eden Tonightdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: poppi
    Elite Ratio:    7.47 - 72/55/37
    Words: 123
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 808
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 818



    Description:
       I'm not sure what needs to be done but i think some how it needs to be changed or reworded. Any critiscism or ideas are welcomed.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsNo Peace In Eden Tonightdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Iím like a refugee
    Trapped in the battleground
    Caught in the crossfire
    Of a war without weapons
    Each word cuts like a knife
    And neither side seeís it
    One side is too arrogant, too ignorant
    The other so broken fighting is all it knows
    Itís hard to sleep now,
    Because there is no peace in Eden tonight.

    Walking on broken pieces,
    Of a shattered mud puddle
    Itís a requiem of unfulfilled dreams
    Spiders creep out of their corners, but still hide
    From the unforgiving light
    Stained clothes, and yet no indication
    Of nightmares filled with horses,
    That have those same creeping spiders,
    Creeping from their noses
    I canít rest easy
    Because there is no peace in Eden tonight.




    Submitted on 2007-12-27 18:14:25     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This sounds like a battle of words between two lovers. Neither one will cease the battle.
    Perhaps in each's eyes there is no consensus.
    The second stanza presents a sense of guilt but there is no conclusion because no one wishes to stay in the light of truth as presented. Thusly Eden remains in crossfire .
    A NICE WRITE !
    | Posted on 2008-11-21 00:00:00 | by realpoet | [ Reply to This ]
      this actually reads like a lyric and I think it quite good in general... loved it a ton.... bravo... bravo... bravo...
    | Posted on 2008-03-28 00:00:00 | by Algol46 | [ Reply to This ]
      wow. I really like this poem. I know what this is about I can really understand it. But it's really good.
    | Posted on 2008-01-09 00:00:00 | by bloody_raven | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow. I really like this poem. It gives a good eerie feel of a nightmare that will not cease. Especially after reading the part:

    "Stained clothes, and yet no indication
    Of nightmares filled with horses,
    That have those same creeping spiders,
    Creeping from their noses
    I canít rest easy
    Because there is no peace in Eden tonight."

    Kind of reminds me of some form of a wonderful dream transformed into something dark because of something happening in life.

    Good write.

    ~Steph.


    | Posted on 2007-12-27 00:00:00 | by xXCptn_SephyXx | [ Reply to This ]


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