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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: suffication, desolation, destitutiodots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: bas
    ASL Info:    24/f/somewhere...
    Elite Ratio:    4.94 - 42/48/35
    Words: 216
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 69
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 814



    Description:
       This isn't really a poem and it was never meant to be. Just thoughts, emotions I wrote in my blog, kinda liked how it turned out so I decide to post it here.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotssuffication, desolation, destitutiodots
    -------------------------------------------


    When you are around I feel.....sad, anxious, small, fragile,
    lost, defenseless, afraid --- without a voice.
    When you are around ...........all hope fades away
    often the end is welcomed.

    You made me..........weak, depressed, angry, tired.
    You took from me.....hope, love, happiness, joy, my life, myself.

    When you look at me you see.....failure, weakness, stupidity,

    You blame me today for who I am
    You molded me, I ran away.

    When you are around I feel ........like I'm walking on needles, on grenades

    You are....toxic, and I long for the day that will find me completely numb and dead.




    Submitted on 2007-12-27 23:53:58     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      this has good emotion and it can easily be sensed, also the imagry is well set up however I believe it could have been set up different. So it was smoother and more people could absorb this, feel like they were in your position and truely understood where the emotion is coming from. Nice begining, and I believe with a little tweeking it could be a better piece.

    -poppi
    | Posted on 2007-12-28 00:00:00 | by poppi | [ Reply to This ]


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    January 10 07
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