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Perhaps


Author: rachel gless
ASL Info:    23/f/mx
Elite Ratio:    3.56 - 68 /89 /37
Words: 94
Class/Type: Poetry /Lostfriend
Total Views: 992
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 598



Description:


Let me know what u think


Perhaps



Perhaps

Please tell me if I’m right
If it was for the best
Or have crossed the limits
Of human common sense?

A part of me says yes,
You did what was correct
But then this other part yells
You crossed the line that day

Guilt flushes through my veins
A hole grows on my chest
Why am I so damn restless?
This wasn’t a mistake

Perhaps that’s how he’ll learn
Treat people with respect
Or maybe I’ll just lay there
Left with all my regrets




Submitted on 2007-12-28 00:33:19     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  This was written very well. It was a little abstract, not alot of emotion behind it, very little imagery. I know how you feel though. I'm going through something that makes me feel the same way. Hope your situation works out better than mine did. Keep up the awesome work, and I'll keep reading.

MIss MIsery
| Posted on 2007-12-28 00:00:00 | by MinervaBlu | [ Reply to This ]
  It was interesting, more detail surrounding or leading up to the conflict that has left you with regrets could be added. Also I noticed that their were particlues dropped such as the "we" in the third line of the first stanza, as well as the first line of the fourth stanza, and I was wondering if this was purposely done to impact the flow of your piece?
| Posted on 2007-12-28 00:00:00 | by Enslaved Shonen | [ Reply to This ]


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