So Far

Author: rachel gless ASL Info:    23/f/mx Elite Ratio:    3.56 - 68 /89 /37 Words: 111

Class/Type: Poetry /Longing Total Views: 797 Average Vote:    No vote yet. Bytes: 737

Description:

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So Far

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I look at my watch Then at the wall clock I’m counting the minutes ‘Til you come back home I’m thinking of you I travel my mind I surf through my memories From darkness to light I wish you were here Sleeping on my bed The night seems much longer When you’re somewhere else I stand up and walk In this empty room Each corner of it Reminds me of you I pick up your shirt Take in your essence This longing for you Makes me lose all sense Miss you escapes my mouth Come back faster now Each moment apart Is breaking my heart

Submitted on 2007-12-29 23:56:40     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments

This was written very well. It was short, but it got the point across. I really like poems like that. I could've used more detail for the imagery, but other than that it was great. I know how you feel. But time heals all wounds. Keep up the awesome work, and I'll keep reading »MIss MIsery«

| Posted on 2007-12-30 00:00:00 | by MinervaBlu | [ Reply to This ]

I like this piece, but I'm biased because I'm missing someone as well. I know how it feels to want someone so bad, to imagine them being with you and have it feel so real only to be rudely awakened to the loneliness. If you get a chance, you should read my poem, "Illusion in the Night,"it deals with the same concept and I think you'd enjoy it. Now, the only piece of advice I'll offer is that you change the fourth line in the second stanza from "darker" to "darkness." It's a more commonly used word and I think it might fit better in this context... Just a thought! It was a good write, and I hope to read more from you! Take care! ~Melissa~

| Posted on 2007-12-30 00:00:00 | by black_beauty18 | [ Reply to This ]

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